Ambush
by SketchyJawa
Summary: Evan's gotten a hold of the AV equipment again. And he's got a special presentation for Divya. Includes other characters as well. Other genres include: friendship, hurt/comfort, angst & humor. This has turned into a lot more than I expected.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at fan fiction. I hope you like it. I plan to continue with this story, barring terrible reviews. Thanks.

Obligatory Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.

* * *

Divya walked in the open kitchen, absently finishing up a text message on her phone. Putting it away in her purse, she looked up to find Evan's back to her, as his full attention was on the AV equipment. Divya sighed audibly, "Evan, what is all of that doing back here? Did you learn nothing from the utter failure of your previous media endeavors?"

Evan craned his neck, looking over his shoulder at her. "No, you and Hank learned nothing because you foolishly threw away a golden opportunity to witness a marketing marvel. But! You now have a rare second chance. You're welcome."

"Right. Where's Hank?"

"Big brother Lawson's finishing up a house call. He'll be a little late. But we can start without him."

Divya frowned, "Evan, what is this supposedly important meeting about, please? Some of us actually have _real _work to do."

"Would you relax? This will be a short presentation. Short but all kinds of brilliant."

"Mmm hmm." She dropped her purse on the small table and plopped down in one of the two chairs in defeat. "Fine. _Dazzle_ and _confound_ me with your technologically artistic know-how so we can get this over with."

"Okay. Now, one caveat before we get this show on the road: Remember, that I did this because I care, and I generally believe it's in your best interests. Okay?"

Divya's expression slowly melted from one of boredom to caution then finally to outright worry. "What are you talking about?"

Evan nodded once. "Okay! Here we go." He took one deep breath pressing the remote with his thumb. "Divya Katdare, this is your life."

(The video screen lights up and shows two miniature stick figures with the photo realistic versions of the heads of Divya and Raj. Stick figure Raj locks what looks like a ball and chain to stick figure Divya's leg. He then picks her up and drops her in the front passenger seat of a cartoony red corvette. The background changes from plain white into a map of the United States, the corvette resting in place in New York.)

It took a full 5 seconds for the absolute horror to sink into Divya. Her confused and worried expression transformed into utter shock and then right to full-on anger. "Evan!"

Evan shushed her, "Divs, you're ruining the intro."

(The absurd representations of Divya and Raj speed off in the corvette up into the air across the ocean right smack dab into London, England. Upon landing, the Union Jack flag pops up and "God save the Queen" blares out the speakers.)

Evan excitedly gestured to the television and exclaimed, "And there they go! The miracle couple! And by miracle, I mean, it's a miracle that they both haven't figured out how ridiculously wrong this trippy, mom and dad-mandated marital trap really is."

Divya's jaw dropped and her eyes played ping-pong between the nightmare presentation and the architect of the nightmare presentation. "Wh-! Evan! How dare you...! You know absolutely nothing about-!"

Evan just kept on, "Oh! And there they land in the Yook! To find they're equally realized dreams of developing real estate and acquisitions and developm-alarky and blah blah blah."

Divya stared daggers, knives and even more barbaric weapons at Evan.

"And there goes Divya popping out the requisite 2.5 kids." Two and half bundles of joy suddenly popped into being around stick figures Raj and Divya. Sounds of crying babies assaulted Divya's ears. Evan turns slowly on his heel to face Divya with a sober expression. "And all is well in the Katdare world. Or Bandio...pad...padh...padhai. Got it."

Divya stood up sharply and opened fire on Evan, "Thank you so much! Thank you so much for literally illustrating my life and my pain in such crystal clarity and dolby digital sound!"

Evan's eyes widened in excitement, and then he pointed at her, "You just said it! Pain! I heard it! I was there! So were you! Because you said it. Just now! And it came from your lips...Not from my insanely awesome presentation..." Evan briefly looked back fondly to admire his video.

Divya crossed her arms across her chest and whispered icily, "This HankMed "meeting" is _over._" Divya gave Evan one more venomous stare before snatching her purse, turning around and bolting for the door. Hank walked in, almost running into Divya. He stepped back out of her way. "Divya?" His brows furrowed as she swept past him, and his eyes immediately went to Evan. "What'd you do?"

Evan held up both hands and replied, "What I needed to, Henry, what I needed to." He hiked his thumb over his shoulder to the video still showing Raj, Divya and the 2.5 kids dancing in place.

Hank's eyes followed the direction to the TV, and his mouth immediately curled into a humorous, sour expression. "That's..."

Evan interrupted, "Powerful stuff, I know."

Hank finished, "...horrifying."

Evan clapped Hank on the shoulder as he whisked by him out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"Divya! Come on! I was just trying to provide clarification via powerpoint!"

Divya was standing near the gate in the courtyard, arms crossed and back to Evan as he quickly arrived. Evan stopped short. "Oh, sorry for shouting. I just figured you would've been further away by now..."

Hank looked back at the video monstrosity then out the door at Evan and Divya. He then quickly shut the door quietly.

Divya, still not looking at him, said quietly, "Evan, I knew you were immature and annoying, but I never could have imagined in my wildest speculations that you could sink to this level. That was a complete and utter invasion of my privacy. You have no right to lecture me on my life and my personal decisions."

Evan opened his mouth then shut it again. "All true. However-"

Divya spun around to face him, arms still crossed, "Then why, Evan, why in the world would you do that? And...how exactly did you even come to obtain a photograph of Raj?"

"Camera," Evan replied flatly.

Divya blinked and shook her head a little. "No! No, I meant when did you have occasion to-?"

Evan held up his index finger, and interrupted, "Divya, that's hardly the point of this conversation. And besides, I really don't want to go into all of that, considering it's a bit awkward and difficult to explain without me coming across as weird and maybe even a little bit creepy. Probably impossible now that I think about it." He held up his other index finger alongside the first one. "The point of this and..._that..."_ He redirected both fingers to point back inside the guesthouse, "..is..." He then shifted to point both fingers at Divya, and finished, "_you_."

Divya opened her mouth a bit but said nothing, just staring at Evan incredulously.

"Divs, how can you not see how sick this little forced, indentured matrimony really is?"

"_Indentured_?"

Evan conceded, "Okay, poor choice of words. Contractual. Yeah, that'll work. I don't mean to slander a time honored tradition, but the times have changed. You're treating this...this "arrangement" like one of the many real estate transactions you'll handle with your "business partner." And I'm sorry, but that's exactly what you and Raj will be. You can just attach husband and wife to the back of your names like I occasionally add CFO to mine."

"Occasionally, Evan? Lawson is practically your _middle _name now."

"Ah ha, that's funny! Hey, you're cracking jokes. Does that mean you're over all this invasion of privacy and unsolicited advice...thing? So, we're cool now?"

"No, Evan! We are not _cool_. We are nowhere in the vicinity of _cool_."

"Damn it all."

"Evan, why do you even care? Are you so selfish as to be worried about the financial well-being of HankMed? Hank will find another PA. With the wonderful reputation he's been building in just these few months, he will have no trouble locating a suitable replacement."

Evan looked shocked, dramatically opening his mouth and paused. "Divya, I am appalled. I am offended. I am _flabbergasted_ that you would think my sincere and...and...selfless, not -ish-, -less...concern for your happiness, or lack thereof, would have anything to do with keeping my wallet sizably plump. It hits right here, Divs." He jabbed his index finger into the center of his chest. "Right here. And the wound is deep."

Divya squinted and glared at Evan. "Evan, do you honestly expect me to believe one word of that ridiculous, melodramatic drivel?"

"What're you talking about? I'm just worried about a good friend's very bad decision-"

Divya interjected, "We are _not_ friends."

"Whaaaaaat? Of course, we are."

"No, we're not."

"I'm afraid we are."

"No, Evan, we're _not_."

"I beg to differ, Miss Katdare. Soon to be Mrs. Ban...band..bandy-Mrs. Raj."

"Evan, we barely tolerate one another. We are not friends. And it's _Bandyopadhyay_!"

"That's what I said. Divs, if we weren't friends, why...why, I ask you...would I even be having this conversation with you?"

Divya's eyes widened and exclaimed, "That's what I've been asking you, you idiot!"

Evan nodded, "Exactly."

One of Divya's eyebrows shot up in confusion, "What?"

Evan nodded once more, "I know. Totally."

"You're not making one shred of sense! Just answer the question."

"Okay, okay! Fine!" He paused then continued, "Wait, what's the question? No, really, I can't remem-"

Divya rolled her eyes. "_Why_ do you care about this? Me? My life?"

"I just told you! You're my friend! And whether you think of me as one or not is totally your business. But you can't dictate to me who my friends are. So there. Stick that in your pot and smoke it." He pointed at her and did a little hop in the air for emphasis.

Divya closed her eyes in frustration, "It's pipe, not pot."

Evan nodded. "Yeah, not my best work there..."

Divya opened her eyes and looked visibly more calm. She didn't say a word for a few seconds, just looking at Evan. Finally, she whispered, "God help me, but I think I might believe you."

"Well, you should, 'cause it's the truth. Look, I don't have a _ton_ of friends. And I only have one who happens to be... femalien. So when she's about to drive off a cliff, I'm gonna jerk the steering wheel."

Divya almost smiled at that but caught herself. She replied, "Marrying Raj is not tantamount to hurling myself off a cliff, Evan."

"No, you're just tossing your career over the side. A career you _love_ and are stupidly good at. And you love HankMed. And...all principal partners thereof." Evan put on his most winning smile.

Divya actually smiled that time. She didn't have time to stop herself, but she did manage to disguise it as one of her trademark sarcastic smiles. "Evan, marrying Raj makes the most sense. It has been my plan for nearly all my life-"

"_Your_ plan? Really?"

"Sometimes...sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Its part and parcel of being an _adult. _One of these days, you may discover what that means. Besides, it's going to make everyone in my life happy."

"Okay, off point for one second: I love how you pronounce it _add-ult_. Back on point: It won't make _you_ happy. And not everybody else is happy about it either." He paused then tacked on, "I'm not happy about it."

Divya's eyes locked on Evan's. She didn't say a word.

Evan blurted out, "By me, I mean...Hank and me. Of course. The brothers Lawson."

Divya squinted and asked, "So you've discussed this at length with Hank? And he completely agrees with you?"

"Absolutely! But don't talk to him about it, because he'll just pretend like he has no idea what you're talking about as if I have not in fact talked to him about it. You know how strange he is."

Divya continued to squint and glare at Evan. "I know how strange _you_ are. Look, this conversation is over. And while I mildly...mildly appreciate your seemingly...good intentions, your methods are obtrusive, obnoxious and completely inappropriate. And least of all: my path is laid in stone. There is no reason to discuss this further, because there is nothing I can do to change this."

"But, Divya, you can! Easily, in fact!"

"Nothing about this is easy, Evan. Nothing! I'm leaving, and Evan? Next time you schedule a meeting, leave my personal life off the agenda. Do we understand one another?"

"Not even remotely."

Divya stared at him for a few long seconds then turned on her heels and darted out the gate door.

Evan's shoulders slumped, clenched his fists and dropped his head. "Damn it all."


	3. Chapter 3

A very glum Evan wandered back into the guesthouse. Hank looked up from his lunch on the kitchen island. "I shut off your video." He mumbled, "Because it was creeping me out."

Evan looked lost in thought, "What? Oh right."

"So. Divya."

Evan just looked at Hank.

Hank stared back and then asked, "How'd that blunt, storm the gates approach work out for you? From the look on your face, something tells me you two didn't kiss and make up. Am I right?"

"Indeed, you are."

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Evan replied matter-of-fact, "That I wanted her to stay. That I didn't want her to marry Raj. That I didn't want her to throw her life away because of some archaic, indentured servitude."

"Indentured?"

"Yeah she didn't like that word either."

Hank put down his fork and said, "Evan, it's a strategic marriage. It's not servitude. And just because it's not something _we're_ used to, doesn't make it any less meaningful and important to the families involved."

"Still. It's dumb."

"It's not _dumb_."

"Fine. It's stupid."

Hank rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Look, I'm gonna miss her just as much as you are. She's not just an incredible PA, she's a friend."

Evan mumbled sullenly, "Apparently, that's debatable for _some_ people."

Hank stopped and eyed his brother, "Evan. Is there something else going on here? Is there some other reason you're so worked up about this? Maybe a more...personal reason?"

Evan's face scrunched up. "What? No. No! Not even a little bit. You're not even in the same galaxy of being right. Different universe even."

Hank smiled a little and said dramatically, "Methinks thou doth protest too much."

Still looking offended, Evan replied defensively, "You're just talking crazy now. Crazy talk is all that I'm hearing." He quickly nabbed the pickle off Hank's plate and crunched a bite into it. "Oh and Henry, taking a quote from Henry V? How very droll of you."

"Actually, it's Hamlet."

"There was a Henry in Hamlet."

"Nope."

"I'm pretty sure there was."

"Not a one."

"Well there should've been."

Hank swallowed a fork load of salad and eyed Evan. "What does that even mean?"

Evan waved his hand dismissively, "Okay. So what's the next step in Project: Divya...staying here in the Hamptons. We need to work on the project title."

Hank looked confused, "Step? There is no next step."

Evan frowned with disappointment. "Hank, come on. I've already done all the work on this project so far. You really need to commit and contribute a lot more to this."

"This is not a project, Evan. This is Divya's life. And her's to live _as she sees fit._ Evan, what's really going on here?"

"Um, besides letting Divya totally derail her life? Nothing."

"Uh huh. Evan, Divya's an adult. She gets to choose what she does with her life. Not us."

"Yeah, I like the way she says it better."

"What?"

"Add-ult. Never mind. It was a Divyan moment. You had to be there. And you're absolutely right. _She_ should be the one to choose, not Team Katdare-Bandiopadhai." Evan's eyes widened a bit, and the hint of a smile tugged at his lips. He muttered to himself, "Holy crap. I got it right."

"From where I'm standing, you're not getting anything right, my brother. And if you do have any feelings at all for Divya, you need to-"

Evan interrupted, "I don't! She hates me. She loves to hate me. I think it's her hobby."

Hank continued, "-tell her. I'm just saying."

"Well stop saying it. It's absurd. The crazy talk's back with a vengeance."

Hank shrugged, "Well, hypothetically speaking, if you _did_-" Evan was about to interrupt again, but Hank stopped him and continued in a louder voice, "Even if it was in some...alternate parallel dimension...I'd still advise Alternate Dimension Evan to tell Alternate Dimension Divya how he felt. Before Alternate Dimension Divya married Alter- "other" Raj. You can surmise all you like about how someone else feels about you, but you'll never know unless you start the ball rolling. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I understand. But it's all irrelevant. Inconsequential. Insignificant, even."

Hank smirked and remarked, "The protesting's back with a vengeance too."


	4. Chapter 4

Divya's phone chirped at her from its resting place in the passenger seat beside her. She grabbed it absently, keeping her eyes on the road. Sparing a glance for the caller ID, Evan's winking face with the toothy grin stared back at her. She stifled a chuckle. He looked like an insane, yuppie pirate. She then groaned dramatically, accepting the call. "What, Evan?"

"Well, that's a fine howdy doo, Divs. Wake up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning?"

"Hilarious. What do you want?"

"Chewy's. You need to meet me there in thirty minutes."

"I need to do no such thing. I have plans."

"No, you don't. C'mon just grab a bite with me, I've got something to give you that you're going to want. I'll even let you pay."

Divya's mouth dropped reflexively. "I do _so_ have plans. And I don't want to eat lunch with you."

"Fine, we'll have a martini."

"It's eleven o'clock in the morning, Evan!"

"You're right. Of course, you're right. Blood Mary it is."

Divya was only able to squeak out an exasperated little sound, not knowing what else to say to make him shut up.

Evan took Divya's silence as an invitation to keep rattling on. "Divya, just meet me at Chewy's at eleven-thirty. I could get there faster, but as you may or may not recall, I traded in my Tesla Roadster for a Yamaha," muttering the last part quickly, "golf cart." He spoke up again, "Listen, you don't have to stay long. I just have something very important to give you. And you're going to want to see this."

Divya sighed into the receiver.

She could feel him smiling through the phone. "Yes! I knew it. You have to come. You have no choice. The curiosity alone would chip away at you all day until you became like this quivering, floundering mass of nervous, jittery-"

Divya crossed her eyes. "Will you please stop your incessant rambling? Fine, I will be there in thirty minutes. But I'm not having lunch with you. And I'm not having a drink with you. Understand?"

"You bet. So do you want me to order _for _you or just wait til-?"

Divya mashed the end call button and just shook her head. She couldn't help the hint of a smile playing at one corner of her lips. "That man is…infuriating…"

Evan rolled up in the golf cart, parking right in between a bright orange 2010 Camaro and a black C-class Mercedes Benz. As he slid out of the seat, he nodded to the swimsuit clad couple climbing into the Camaro. "Niiiice. What sort of horsepower do you have on this beauty?" The blonde guy squinted a little at Evan. "510."

Evan gave the man a thumbs-up. "Sweet. Yeah, I'm sittin' on a juicy 12 myself." He nodded and hiked his thumb over his shoulder at his ride. "Well, you two have a nice day." He gave them his brightest smile and ambled on down the footpath to the beach, sliding his sunglasses on.

Evan hopped up and parked his rear on a stool, bar-side. Tapping out a quick rhythm with his hands on the bar, he met the bartender's gaze. "Morning. Evan R. Lawson, CFO of HankMed." He reached across the bar to shake the man's hand. The bartender shook his hand, looking a little confused, but replied, "Ted. What can I get you?"

Evan's eyes danced up and down and around the inside of the shack. "Ted, my good man, I will take a lemonade and a refreshing iced tea for the lady." Ted, the bartender, looked around and asked, "The lady who's not here yet, I assume?"

"You assume correctly. And I can't believe I beat her here. She drives this really sweet, tricked out, expensive SUV and I…" He paused, looking a little sheepish, "..don't."

Evan jabbed a straw into his drink and took a long sip and finished with a loud, "Ahhh." He admired the crashing waves for a long moment. He muttered to himself, "Yeah, you're beautiful and enticing. But you're just infested with sharks. And octopi. And Aquaman villains. I won't fall for your alluring, siren's call, no ma'am."

Divya's impatient voice assaulted him from behind and he reflexively hunched his shoulders. She slapped her purse down on the bar beside her awaiting iced tea. "Here I am. Happy?"

Evan turned around on the stool and took another sip with smiling lips. "Immensely." He gingerly placed his lemonade on the bar. "So what the hell took you so long? And more importantly, how are you going to live down the fact that your badass behemoth was bested by a vehicle that has to be plugged into an electrical outlet every night to function properly?"

Divya shook her head, "You should be thankful that I'm here at all, Evan. Especially after that embarrassing trap you laid for me yesterday. Wait…" Her eyes went wide. "Is this…? I cannot believe I fell for this. Again! Evan-"

Evan held up both hands in defense. "Whoah, whoah, whoah. This has nothing to do with that. Not even a little bit. Well maybe a little bit. It involves the same people." He pointed to himself and then Divya. "But therein lies the only connection. Scout's honor."

Divya eyed him warily, "I can't see you as a boy scout. Were you?"

"I. Was. Not."

"Well, of course not. Boy scouts, from what I've gathered, learn values that they build upon throughout life to become valuable and responsible members of society. I can see that you entirely avoided the experience. Now, your brother on the other hand: I can imagine that he shot up right through the ranks at record shattering speed."

"Hank was indeed the very model of a modern major-general." He paused and added on with a sagely expression, "Major-general's the highest echelon of the Boy Scout society."

Divya smirked, "Really. Here and I thought it was Eagle Scout."

"That's the layman's term for it."

"I see." The iced tea caught her attention. "Is this for me?"

"Every drop."

She picked it up and pressed the lip of the glass to her own bottom lip. Before sipping, her eyes locked on Evan's over the top of the glass. She pulled the glass away briefly. "This iced tea isn't of the Long Island variety is it?"

"Nope. It's unleaded."

She nodded and took a long sip, then replaced the glass on the bar. She then returned her attention to Evan fully, giving him an expectant look. "Well? Are you going to say anything, Mister Motor Mouth?"

Evan furrowed his brows, "Oh! Right! Um, did you do something different with your hair? It's very fetching."

Rolling her eyes, Divya responded, "No, Evan. I wasn't fishing for compliments. I want to know why you called me here."

"Of course you do! And rightly you should! Okay. Remember how the last time you were supposed to get a paycheck…and…and…well, you didn't?"

Divya's gaze tightened on Evan. "With vivid recollection. And I seem to recall that you were wholly responsible for that disastrous debacle."

Evan stopped short and blurted out, "Wholly? Wholly? Holy crap, Divya. That is so unfair. It wasn't me who technically and actually removed money from HankMed's accounts. If you _recall_." Evan bookended that last word with air quotation marks.

"No, Evan, you just handed the keys to the gate to your father and gave him carte blanche access. And from what Hank has said, the man is altogether untrustworthy, unscrupulous and entirely unreliable. And it seems to me he obviously had quite an influence on you in your formative years. You two seem cut from the same cloth." She sipped her iced tea, waiting for the inevitable return fire from Evan. This is just how it worked for them. Back and forth. Forth and back. But Divya was surprised to hear nothing but the crashing of the waves and the ice tinkling against the glass as she drank. She lowered the glass and met Evan's gaze.

His lips were firmly closed and that gaze was one she had only seen phantom glimpses of in the past. It was…pained. A strange sort of confusion and panic washed over Divya all of a sudden. This wasn't how this was supposed to go at all. Evan was breaking the rules. He was _cheating_.

His eyes finally left hers, as if this was an intensely shy person she was talking with. The confusion and panic only got worse. "Evan-"

"Wow. I'm um…I really don't know what to say. That was masterfully crafted, Divya. Bravo. You must have been sharpening that barb for quite some time. The killing blow was well placed and…and…quite…potent."

He was babbling, but not in the _right_ way. Not the way Evan babbles and rambles. Divya didn't like it at all.

"Well, ok then. I appreciate you indulging me, and I hope you enjoyed your tasty cold beverage…" He slid off his stool, with little to no Evan-ish flair.

This was all careening out of control, and Divya was totally unprepared for it. "Evan. Wait. I didn't-"

"No no. It's all cool. It's all very, very…_cool_. We're totally on the same page. I smell what you've got cooking. Loud and clear. Crystal clear. Oh here, take this. This was why I dragged you out here." He handed her a blue envelope the size of a Hallmark card. Divya took it wordlessly. Evan dropped some cash on the bar. "Sorry I wasted your time." He drained the rest of his lemonade and wandered back in the direction of his "car."

Divya fingered the envelope, as she watched him leave. She was still in shock. Shocked by her own brutal words, but more by his reaction. What she said hadn't been _that_ bad. The past few moments tumbled around inside her brain. Yes, they were. They were cruel and excessive. And she had compared him to Eddie, a man Hank hated and had written off completely. She shut her eyes. Why did this always happen? How did Evan always know how to rile her up like that?

Her fingers fumbled with the envelope in her hand. Opening her eyes slowly, she removed what was indeed a greeting card. The front was a full color recreation of the Looney Tunes episode "What's Opera, Doc?" where Elmer Fudd, all decked out in Viking gear, helmet and all, was bent down on one knee, hands raised in a pleading manner to a very disinterested Bugs Bunny, dressed in Viking drag as an opera diva. Underneath, were the printed words: "Pwease, pwease, pwease, forgive me!"

She opened the card. A simple "I'm sorry." was printed in the center of the card. An arrow in hand-written blue ink was drawn from the "I'm sorry." down to the bottom of the card, where Evan had written: "Technically, I'm –not- sorry, but I -am- sorry for how I handled it, and that I hurt your feelings. Dad paid us back. In full. You'll find the missed payment plus (turn over for more)." Divya flipped the card to continue reading on the back: "…your full next payment and some extra for just being so generally cool and sticking with us. I'm still going to be vocal about this whole "marriage thing." Sorry that's just how I'm built." It was signed: Your Friend. Friend was then crossed out and co-worker was written under it. Co-worker was then also crossed out and replaced with acquaintance. Then finally that was also crossed out and replaced with: Your Friend (?), Evan. Something that was probably part laugh and part sob exploded out of Divya.

Inside the envelope, along with the card, was a cashier's check made out to one Divya Katdare.

* * *

Thanks for the great reviews. This is my first fan fiction. These two are just too fun to write for. I know the writers of the show will eventually put these two kids together, but it will be a long while before that happens. And I just couldn't wait to get the ball rolling. There should be a good many more chapters, as I want their relationship (whatever it is and may become) to flow as naturally as possible, but at the same time: not move at a snail's pace. Thanks again for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

Several days later, the younger Lawson brother was sitting in the guesthouse, bare feet up on the coffee table, clad in a baby blue Polo housecoat, bowl of Fruity Puffs resting on his stomach, and watching some reality show on MTV. While crunching on some puffs, he muttered to himself and the television, "Why do you all have to be so _mean_ to each other? It's so depressing..."

On cue, Hank rounded the corner with his medical bag in one hand. "Yes. Yes, it is. Why are you watching that garbage? And _eating_ that garbage? And, why not: _wearing _that garbage?"

"Hank-o-rama, this is a slice of American culture right here. Americana , if you will."

Hank interrupted, "God, I hope that's not true."

Evan continued, "And this plush, uber-comfy number is a Ralph Lauren, and we do not use "Ralph Lauren" and "garbage" in the same sentence. And the cereal's...comfort food."

"Ev, you've been moping around here for almost an entire week. Are you going to let me in on what's going on with you?"

"Nope."

"Is this about Dad?"

"Nope. This...isn't a _this_. It's nothing."

"Fine. We've got a new client meeting today. Divya's meeting us here in half an hour. So go shower and get dressed. Preferably in something less...plush."

Evan scratched the back of his head, "I think I will shower and dress myself in my usual stylish fashion, but I may have to bail on the EMBM."

"Yeah, eleven-thirty doesn't exactly qualify as an Early Morning Business Meeting. And you're going. You need to get out of this house and...ya know: do your job?"

"Hang on there: I'm on the clock as we speak. Marketing and business development research." He quickly flipped the channel to CNN Money. "Besides I've got my own meeting at noon."

"How convenient."

"It _is_ convenient. People eat lunch at noon."

"So it this a business meeting or a lunch date?"

Evan mumbled something as he stood up.

Hank frowned, "Was that even English?"

Evan placed the bowl in the sink. "I am off to lather and exfoliate. If I happen to miss the Div, ask her if it smells like updog in here to her." Evan made a nasty face and jogged up the stairs.

Hank called out, "What the hell is updog?"

Evan yelled back, "Not much, dawg! What's up with you?" Evan's trademark laughter trailed down the stairs to a wincing and smiling Hank.

Fifteen minutes fell off the clock, as Evan's head suddenly appeared in the doorway to the stairs. His wide eyes scanned the kitchen diligently. Seeing only Hank, he bolted down the rest of the stairs in a Lacoste golf shirt and shorts. "Gonna be late! See you later this afternoon! Good luck on the meeting! Don't forget to get them to sign a retainer agreement! Bye!"

A startled Hank jumped up from the notebook he was reviewing. "Evan...Evan!"

Evan shouted back a barely audible, "No time! My new ride's not quite as speedy as my last one!"

Hank stared out the french doors into the daylight, with a worried expression.

Seven minutes later, Divya entered the kitchen, dressed in a professional blouse and dress pants. Her eyes immediately rested on Hank. "Hank, good morning." Hank looked up and smiled, "Hey, Divya. Just let me grab my notes, and I'll be ready."

Divya nodded and then folded her arms across her chest. Her eyes scanned the kitchen, trailing to the stairs and finally up to the landing. Fidgeting a bit, she tried to sound casual, "Is...Evan...here? I mean is he tagging along...since it's a new client?"

Hank shook his head, "No. He's got...a thing. Apparently." He looked up at Divya and did a double-take.

Divya babbled out a high-pitched and defensive, "What?"

Hank's eyes narrowed, "I don't...know..." Uncomfortable silence stretched on and on as the two looked at each other wordlessly.

Hank finally dropped his notebook aside and turned in his seat to face Divya head on. "Divya, is there something I should know? Do you have any clue what exactly is bothering Evan?"

Divya gave Hank her best doe-eyed stare. "Bothering?" Again: high pitched. "Oh...is something bothering Evan? I hadn't...I hadn't noticed."

"Well, of course you haven't. You haven't been over here in a week."

"Four days." Hank stared at her. Divya quickly appended with a nervous chuckle, "Give...or take a day..."

Hank sighed, looked away then returned to Divya with a fresh expectant stare. "Throw me a lifeline here..."

Divya continued smiling nervously, then her expression softened into a more pragmatic one. Her shoulders slumped somewhat in defeat. She rolled her eyes, "We had bit of a...squabble. A misunderstanding."

"Yeah. I was here, remember? Those french doors are made mostly of glass, which is a not exactly a soundproofing material."

Divya tightened her lips and replied, "That was just the tip of the iceberg."

"Must be one hell of an iceberg. Titanic sinking."

"In typical Evan fashion, he...made the attempt to sort of apologize...for _that_!" She gestured past Hank to where the AV equipment had been. "And in typical..._my_ fashion, I misunderstood and may have possibly insulted him-"

"So? You insult him with every other breath."

Divya closed her eyes and shook her head, her raven hair swishing two and fro. "That's-That's not true. But I went...a little far this time. Do I honestly ridicule him so persistently that it's so noticeable to you?"

Hank winced and nodded affirmatively, "But if it makes you feel any better, it's not just me."

"It doesn't." She paused and then clenched her fists. "I do not understand how your brother can just transform me into such...a...a...harpy! Every. Single. Time. Why is that? It makes zero sense."

Hank bobbed his head left then right. "Makes more sense than you think." He shrugged and made one of Hank's funny "it is what it is" faces. "It's _Evan_."

Hank paused and then said quietly, "Divya. Evan is spontaneous. He's blunt. He never recognizes boundaries. He puts _way _too much importance on money and in what other people think of him. And in any given social setting, he's bound to do or say something highly inappropriate. However..." Again he paused, this time looking Divya square in the eyes. "He's also loyal. He's smart. He can be a hell of a lot of fun." He smiled. "And when he's not being blatantly offensive, you have to admit...he's a pretty _funny _guy."

A non-committal smirk found it's way on to Divya's face. "Only at gunpoint would I have to admit anything of the kind."

Hank's face mirrored her smirk, "But. But most of all: In his own muddled and misguided way...he usually means well."

Divya thought about that for a moment before replying, "You mean like how he continually tries to bridge the tremendous gap between you and your father?"

Hank's casual smile faded faintly. "Yeah. Well. I said he means well. I didn't say he could perform miracles."

Divya, feeling the conversation had veered into even more uncomfortable territory, glanced at her watch. "We'd probably best be off, if we're to make it to the Mullinax residence by eleven thirty. Let's...table this discussion for now, shall we?"

Hank stood up and walked out the door with her, "Agreed. We could always talk about your upcoming nuptials..." Divya playfully frowned and swatted his arm.

"Kidding. I'm _kidding_!"


	6. Chapter 6

The golf cart screeched to a stop alongside the grand front steps of Chez Newburg. Evan flipped up his sunglasses momentarily and scanned the top of the steps and the front door. He clenched his fist and laid on the horn in a manly fashion. Unfortunately, the pathetic noise that emitted from his Fred Flintstone-mobile was anything but manly. Evan's shoulders slumped , and he stared ahead slack-jawed. "Seriously? I can't even have a _horn_ that sounds like it came from a real car? It may as well have come out: Aaaa-ooo-gah!"

Evan heard the door slam and saw a man dressed in a golf shirt and khakis nearly skip down the steps in a cheerful manner. Evan remarked with a smirk, "Well, you're in a good mood. Please, for the love of all that is good and pure in the world, don't go into any details as to why."

Having reached the bottom of the steps, Eddie R. Lawson smiled wide. "Why _wouldn't _I be in a good mood? The sun is shining. The air in my lungs is fresh. Oh, and son: I have to tell you: Last night I had the most amazing-"

Evan held up an open hand, and cut his father off with panic in his voice, "Hey oh! No no no no NO! You just stop right there, Mister. You will not finish that sentence or I'll run you over with this thing repeatedly. And after enough times, you could possibly…even require medical attention."

Eddie raised both hands innocently and gave his younger son an equally innocent grin. "_Sea-food!_ I had the best grilled seafood dinner last night. That woman can _cook_, I tell you."

"I can only assume you mean her _cooks_ can _cook_. And if that was a euphemism for something else, my previous threat of vehicular manslaughter remains on the table. Speaking of cooking, this is an excellent place for a segue out of this verbal minefield that eventually leads to my premature death by aneurism: You ready to go get some lunch?"

Eddie swung himself inside the golf cart and plopped down in the passenger seat. "You bet I am. Burn rubber, son."

Evan turned the key, and the golf cart started with a violent jerk. "This thing can only really toast or slightly sauté the rubber."

Eddie gave the cart the once over and asked, "While this is quite the "chick magnet" I'm sure, we have got to get you something a little heftier. With a little more _pep_!"

Evan slowly turned his head toward Eddie, with a deadpan expression and narrow eyes. He said in an equally deadpan and sarcastic voice, "Oh, you mean like…I don't know…a _Tesla Roadster_, perhaps?"

Eddie's eyes lit up and exclaimed, "Yes! Perfect! I hear those things are completely electric! Now that would be something to see-"

Evan's eyes narrowed even more, practically boring holes into the man beside him. Eddie trailed off, confused by Evan's glare. Evan whispered menacingly but yet still in a humorous way, "You _really_ don't want to go there. _Really_." Eddie grinned innocently. They "sped" out of the Newburg estate's grounds.

Thirty minutes later, Evan sat across a table from Eddie at a sidewalk cafe along the downtown strip. Eddie was working his way through a massive hamburger, while Evan's club sandwich remained largely untouched. Evan poked a fat French-fry into a gooey mound of ketchup absently. Eddie somehow managed to swallow the veritable truckload of food in his mouth, wiped the corners of this mouth with his napkin, and sucked up half the can of Diet Coke through his straw. "Now, I feel certain that at some distant moment in time long past in our father-son relationship, that I at least _once_ had that all-important conversation with you about playing with your food."

Evan flicked his eyes up to meet his father's gaze, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "While it was prematurely cut-off, the fatherly advice you were around to give was generally pretty sound, yeah."

Eddie let the gibe slide, and nodded. "Good, good. Was it closely followed by the other oldie but goodie: "Eat your food, because you know there are starving children in the world who would be _lucky_ to have what you have?""

Evan continued grinning, eyes still on his plate. "I seem to remember that one too."

Eddie mock-frowned, "Well, then? What's goin' on with you? Just because I wasn't the best father in the world, doesn't mean I didn't know what I was talking about. This is good food. And we both know a little something about what's good and what's not. How many Spaghetti-O's did you and your brother have to force down? Beef-a-roni, if we were living large that night?"

"Chef Boyardee _was_ good to us," Evan conceded.

"Those weren't good times, but you and Hank were real troopers. I was proud of you both." He exchanged a silent look with Evan. "But that's behind us. We are all about to get what we deserve. Your brother's really making his mark here, son. You stick with him, and you'll do okay too. You ride high on his wave of success."

Evan's smile faltered. "You know, Dad. I'm pretty decent at what I do, too. The state of New York doesn't just drop Certified Public Accountant Licenses on the masses out of a hot air balloon. I worked my butt off for that. And the subsequent success thereafter, if I may leave modesty by the wayside for just a moment. Yeah, Dad, I'm pretty good with money. That is until a momentary lapse of sanity led me to almost flush it all away-"

Eddie pointed at him and interrupted him with, "I thought we were past that. And I paid you and your brother back every single penny. Didn't I? Well…didn't I?"

Evan sighed, "Yeah."

"That's right I did." Eddie took a moment and continued in a quieter and slightly higher voice, "And I'm…_aware_ of your accomplishments as well. And I'm very proud of them as well as Hank's. I certainly didn't mean it to sound otherwise."

Evan shook his head, "Just…forget about it."

"Good. Now, what's really bothering you? You like your dog was run over…ya know: by a car…not a golf cart…" Eddie broke out into a smile and laughed.

Evan closed his eyes and laughed right along with him. "Well-played, well-played."

"Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week."

Evan eyed him.

Eddie caught the look and said with a confident smile, "And even longer." He added, "I promise."

Evan finally stuffed the fry into his mouth. "For the starving kids…"

Eddie smirked. "Atta' boy. Ok, so not dog troubles…so it must be…of course! What else can make a man _feel_ like a dog? _Women_. Who is she? Or is there more than one?" Eddie waggled his eyebrows in true scoundrel fashion.

Evan shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "It's not like that. I mean…I don't…_think_ it's like that. I mean I know it's not like that for _her_. And I'm like 99 percent sure it's not like that for me either. I mean she really, really _hates_ me." Eddie went to speak, but Evan kept on rolling, "But then she goes out of her way to be nice in these rare, blue moon moments that seem to come out of freakin' nowhere." At this point, Evan seemed to either be talking to himself or nobody at all. "It's like she's cool and funny but only in these schizophrenic bursts. And the rest of the time? Look out! You better keep your deflector shields at full strength. So yeah, I'm totally like 77 percent sure it's not like that for me."

Eddie again tried to interject, and again was shut down by Evan's escalating tirade: "And she's so…_mean_. I have got a pretty thick skin: After all the many, many women I have _launched _myself at, when it comes to insults, I've got the hard rock skin of "The Thing!" The Fantastic Four's, not John Carpenter's. But she can just work that knife into the cracks…!" He pantomimed holding a knife, grinding his teeth, even growling a little bit. "Just working it in there until she finds a vein..." Evan continued grimacing and the invisible knife digging.

"Oh, and stubborn?" He dropped the imaginary knife and finally looked at Eddie, really worked up now. "Holy moo cow! She's like a mule on Ambien. Unless it's totally her way, she's not going anywhere or doing anything. Even if it's for her own damn good. And it _totally_ is! And she _knows_ it is, but she won't admit it." He looked away from Eddie at absolutely nothing, dropping his hands in his lap from all the animated gesturing. "So, it's not like that for me with her. 62 percent rock-solid sure on that."

Eddie, with wide eyes, just stared at him for a moment in silence…along with every other single customer at the café. Evan was oblivious, apparently still having an argument with himself in his head.

Eddie finally smiled at all the staring people, nodding as well, letting them all know everything was all right and they needn't fear Evan going on some murderous rampage. He reached across the table and tentatively patted his son on the shoulder. "I think you and I should take a little walk."

Walking along the pier, Evan, who seemed to be mostly "back," walked alongside Eddie with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

Eddie broke the silence, "Wow. That was…that sure was something." He smiled. "Let me tell you, son: women were made to drive us crazy. But that's not always a bad thing." Evan looked at him doubtfully. "Take this one woman I used to know: We fought like cats and dogs. All the time." He looked at Evan. "But you know what? It was passionate. When we found common ground, which took work, oh my God, it was incredible…!"

Evan winced, shutting his eyes from the horrible mental pictures that were sure to follow. "Dad, please! Are you serious? I'm your son, not your frat bro!"

Eddie continued as Evan interrupted and spoke louder, "It was incredible _especially after I married her_…and we had two amazing boys together. That passion matured into something more, and it was always there."

"If you're not talking about Mom, I swear to Poseidon's trident!, I'm going to vomit on you right here and now."

"Of course, I'm talking about your mother…There's never been anyone else like her. And there never will. Evan, what I'm trying to tell you is what you already know: men and women either have chemistry or they don't. But what you may or may not know, is sometimes that…attraction can, in the rarest of cases, be…explosive. And it can manifest itself in a masquerade of all kinds of emotions. Even what you may perceive to be: hatred. What do you think about that?"

Evan let it roll around inside his head then smirked and replied, "What do I think? I think you're more full of bull than that burger."

"Well, of course I am. I ate the whole thing." He laughed as his son reluctantly chuckled as well.


	7. Chapter 7

Whew, this was a long one! I considered splitting it into 2 chapters, but it fits better as one. Hope you enjoy. Thanks again for the great reviews. I truly appreciate it.

* * *

The following Saturday near dusk, the three Lawson men were sitting around a table outside the guesthouse, finishing up an uncomfortable dinner. Eddie R. broke the silence, as he'd been doing the entire evening, "If I haven't mentioned how wonderful this steak is-"

Hank broke in, "You have. Several times." Hank, not for the first time during the meal, fixed an angry stare at his brother. Evan met the stare with a not entirely guiltless look.

Eddie tried again, "Are these locally grown? Tender doesn't even begin to describe this explosion of flavor and succulent-"

Hank shut him down again, "Locally gro-? Yeah, Dad, these steaks came from one of those world famous Long Island cows.

Evan's shoulders slouched slightly and said quietly, "Hank, come on."

Eddie pointed his fork at Evan and then at Hank, nodding, "Listen to your brother, Hank. This is just like old times but with finer cuisine, I might add."

Hank fixed his gaze on Eddie, "You're right, this _is_ just like old times. Oh wait, one small difference." Hank pointed his own fork back at Eddie. "_That_ chair should be vacant."

Evan's eyes went wide as this was getting out of hand. "Hey! Alright! Who wants dessert? We've got fresh mangos a la mode. Not to mention ice cream a la mode. Perfect for _cooling off_." This time it was Evan staring pointedly at Hank. "Isn't that right, Henry?"

Hank frowned, shifting his gaze from Eddie to Evan then back again. "Yeah." He exhaled deeply and seemed to calm down. "I'll help you."

Eddie fumbled in the inside of his coat and produced a cigar. "Great! And I'll light up one of Cuba's finest in the meantime."

Hank followed Evan through the open perpetually open french doors into the kitchen. Hank said in an aside to Evan, "By the way, you do know a la mode means _with ice cream_, don't you?"

Evan replied nonchalantly, "Of course. I wanted two scoops. Hence, ice cream a la mode."

Hank smirked, "Riiiight." He opened the freezer and pulled out a carton.

Eddie puffed on his cigar and shouted into the kitchen, "So, Hank. Do you know who Evan's mystery girl is? She sounds like a real tigress!" He brought up his other hand in the shape of a claw as a visual aid.

Hank arched a brow and looked Eddie's way only to promptly redirect to Evan. A hesitant smile formed on Hank's face. "_Mystery _girl?"

Evan did his very best to disguise the horror that had just onset. He did it very poorly. He did not look up from the mangos he was chopping up on the cutting board. "Nope. No idea what he's talking about really."

Hank's mischievous grin widened, "_Tigress_?"

Evan must have been simply entranced by those mangos, because his eyes were glued to them. He laughed nervously, "Well I thought it would be a few more years now, but um...Dad is...senile."

Hank, having fun for the first time this evening, asked, "Oh really, since when?"

"Since right now. Apparently, it just happened. While we were standing here, you with your ice cream and I with my...uh melons. Those Long Island cows are like poison to the elderly. Shame on you, being a healthcare practitioner, for not knowing they cause the early onset of Dimentia."

Eddie, apparently not remembering he wasn't supposed to smoke inside, sauntered into the kitchen and pointed at Evan with the lit cigar, smiling wide, "That's right, Hank. I think your little brother's smitten. I was telling him just a few days ago how if a woman acts like she hates you, it doesn't always mean she really hates you. Isn't that right?"

Hank, apparently not caring about the cigar for the moment, shrugged, crossing his arms and still smiling. "I'm no psychologist, but there've been case studies on the actual thin line between love and hate and how one can disguise itself as the other." Hank can barely contain the huge grin on his face as he finishes with, "But for the life of me, I can't think of a single person that _Evan_ knows that fits that bill..."

Evan finally looked up, stabbing the knife and impaling an innocent papaya. Both hands on the kitchen island, leaning forward a little, he wore a taut smile. "While I am just _thrilled_ to have finally found a single subject that you two can discuss without harsh words and hurling small appliances at each other, I'm so very sorry to be the one to inform you that you are, in fact, both insane."

Hank and Eddie exchanged looks. Their smiles faltered a little, but Evan was actually right. The tension that had been palpable a minute ago had simmered down. Hank spoke directly to his father for the first time that night in a civil tongue. "Well...Dad...what exactly did Evan say about this as of yet unidentified, emotionally charged young woman?"

Evan shut his eyes in frustration. "Hank, I love you like a brother, but I swear to Steven Spielberg, if you don't let this drop there will be _no_ sliced mango for you. I'm serious! I'll eat it all myself. Better yet, I'll take it to the big house and share it with Boris. And you won't be invited. How sad will you be then, huh? Um, _very_."

Eddie was about to open his mouth when Hank's cell phone barked at him from the counter. Hank shot a look to Evan, "Saved by the-"

Evan stopped him, "Oh don't even!"

Hank, still smiling, picked up his phone. "This is Hank." Hank's smile faltered a tad. "Whoah, hold on. Slow down." Hank listened. "I'm sure it's just indigestion, Mrs. Newburg."

Eddie frowned and looked to Hank. "Wh-what is it? Is she all right?"

Hank held up a hand to Eddie. "Wait did you just say...panting?" He closed his eyes. "Mrs. New-...Mrs. Newb-...Mrs. Newburg, please understand: I'm a physician. A _people_ doctor." He shook his head. "I absolutely remember your retainer agreement, but..." He looked at Evan with wide eyes and a "can you believe this?" look on his face. "Well, I appreciate the compliment. And I'm equally...fond of Koufax." Hank's shoulders sank.

Evan pointed at Hank and whispered to Eddie, "Did you see that? He just totally caved. I know _somebody _who's making a K-9 house-call tonight." Evan smiled at the situation and probably the relief of no longer being the topic of conversation. He casually popped a small bit of mango in his mouth.

Hank said into the phone, "Alright, Mrs. Newburg. I'll be over as soon as I can." His brow furrowed then looked at Eddie. "Actually...yes. He's right here." He listened and sighed, "Yeah, okay. I'll bring him along." Eddie grinned. Hank finished up, "Ok, we'll see you shortly." He ended the call. "Well, I'm assuming there's no need for me to explain...?"

Evan piped up, "No, but do it anyway. I just want to hear you say it out loud."

Hank gave him an exasperated look.

Evan brainstormed, "Project: pooch. Mission: Marmaduke. Operation...old dog. Oh! Assignment: Arf!"

Hank fired back, "Expedition: Evan and his mystery tigress." Evan shut up and shrunk a little like a deflated balloon. Hank raised both eyebrows and smirked, "What happened? No more? Yeah, that's right: I didn't think so." He looked to Eddie. "I'm gonna grab my bag. I'll need to switch out some of the contents considering the nature of the patient."

Eddie nodded, puffing on his cigar. "I'll wait for you here. Oh, I think I'll take the time to deposit that beer or two I had."

Evan muttered, "Five beers."

Hank jogged off to his room, and Eddie jogged off to the bathroom.

Evan went back to chopping up some of the fruit, as the daylight was all but gone outside. Evan perked up at a light tapping on glass to find Divya standing just outside the open door. Evan muttered to himself, "What is this? A comedy of errors?"

Divya narrowed her eyes, "What was that?" Evan shook his head and waved her in, "Nothin'. Uh, come on in." Divya, dressed in a yellow shirt and white pants, walked in, eyes scanning the rest of the room and the outside eating area. "Dinner for one?"

Evan smiled a little, cutting up a papaya, "No. Family reunion, in fact." He looked up and did his best to act nonchalantly like everything was just fine between them, "Wh-what's up? What're you doing here? Speaking for HankMed, we really don't expect you to be on the clock at 7 PM on a Saturday."

Gingerly placing a gift basket on the table, the AV presentation table in fact, Divya responded, "I'm not. This is a non-scheduled, non-business related visit actually."

Evan looked back down at the cutting board, but there was no more work to be done there. Evan put down the knife, then picked it back up because maybe he could cut up some more, then he thought that was stupid so he put it back down, but it wasn't stupid if people liked small bites so he picked it back up again, and finally thought he really needed to stop picking this knife up over and over again and placed it on the counter for the last time. After this nervous, fidgety display was over he asked, still looking down at his very-well cut up fruit, "Oh really? That's interesting. Then what's this un-_scheduled_ (he said it like she did) visit about then?"

Divya paused then said in a quiet voice, "Evan, come here." He looked up. "Please."

He wiped his hands on a towel and walked over trying to exude confidence, achieving only awkwardness.

Divya was very nearly smiling but she wasn't quite there. "Again...I...owe you an apology."

Evan shrugged a little too animatedly. "What? No, you don't. We're _so_ cool. In fact, I don't even remember the beach. I mean: not the beach. What beach?" Evan thought to himself maybe there _was_ something to this whole: think before you speak ideology...

Divya smiled softly and said quietly, "Yes, I do."

Evan returned the smile and said with equal quiet, "No. You don't."

Divya's smile evaporated and her eyes went wild, "Evan! Seriously? We're going to fight about this too? You are absolutely amazing!" She got the last word out chuckling.

Evan jumped at her raised voice, but smiled too when she laughed. "Sorry...I..."

Divya picked up the basket and presented it to him, "You screwed up. You tried to apologize-"

"Well sort of apologize. If you read my note-"

"Evan." She didn't yell it, but she said his name very quickly.

"Sorry." He said that just as quickly.

"You tried to _sort of_ apologize..." Evan nodded and mouthed a "thank you" as Divya continued, "...then I, in turn, screwed up. And now I am offering my apology. And this gift basket." She paused and looked him in the eyes. "This is what friends do."

Evan slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, as a smile grew on his face. He smiled with his eyes too as he kept her gaze. "They do, do they?"

"They do indeed."

A few more seconds drifted away, when Divya blinked and extend her arms. "Well, root through it. I know you want to."

Evan's eyes drifted down to the basket. He'd completely forgotten it. He clapped his hands together and rubbed them together eagerly. He put one hand over his eyes and slowly dipped the other into the basket. "Feels like...cookies." He winced as his hand squeezed the plastic wrapping. "Oops, they crumble like cookies too." Divya smiled wide. Evan took out the package and brought it up to his nose. "Smells like cookies." He opened his eyes and nodded, looking to Divya with no expression. "Macadamia Nut...wisely chosen." She nodded as he placed them on the table.

He dug into the basket, and scrunched his brow, eyes going left and right. He pulled out the strange object. Instant recollection. He pulled out a small green figure, brought it up to beside his face and smiled at Divya. "It's Gumby."

Divya grinned, "I must be drunk. I see _two_ Gumbies."

Evan playing with and bending the action figure this way and that, replied, "It might be Gumbi. I'll have to wikipedia it later..."

He next pulled out a cool six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. "Hey it's beer!" His smile melted away comically, "And not...good beer." He looked to Divya questioningly.

"No, but it is was a PBR that I confiscated from you and threw overboard during our little adventure at sea on that fugitive's boat." Evan's mouth opened a little as recognition dawned in his eyes.

"Holy crap. That's impressive. You were able to read the label as it whizzed past your head? You must have a mutant power. You're an X-man. X-woman. No, that just sounds like you had a sex-change operation..."

Divya said in her sing-song voice, "Keep digging."

Evan looked inside this time. His eyes went truly wide and looked up at her. "No, you didn't!"

"I most certainly did."

"You bought me a car?"

"Not just _any_ car. A Tesla Roadster."

Evan's mouth dropped open as he plucked out the last gift. Wrapped in plastic with a cardboard backing, was a 4-inch across red toy Matchbox Tesla Roadster. "You think if I dunk it in water, it'll grow into a life-size one?"

Divya giggled, "You never know until you try."

Evan kissed the little toy car and whispered, "Oh baby, Daddy missed you soooo much." He smiled at Divya, "I'm truly touched."

Divya, still giggling, replied, "Oh you're touched all right. Touched in the head."

"Isn't that the truth? But thank you. Honestly...I...I'm speechless."

"They say there's a first time for everything, and now I believe it."

"And the hits just keep on comin'! You're on fire tonight, Divs. Hey, you want some ice cream, mango, and ice cream? You totally get two scoops for this basket of unadulterated..._awesome."_

Divya kept smiling, "Is that why you said it twice?"

"See? You totally get me. I had to explain it to the lesser Lawsons."

Divya shook her head, swishing her hair to and fro. "I best not. I _do_ want to be able to squeeze into my wedding dress."

Evan, walking back to the kitchen island counter, felt like he just took an arrow in his back as her words reached his ears. He furrowed his brow and muttered to himself, "That was...weird. Huh."

Divya regretted saying it too. The reality of it all sucked all the playfulness, humor and fun right out of the air for her. And now, suddenly, she wanted to eat an entire carton of ice cream. A la mode.

"Ice cream and fresh fruit another night, kiddo. I have to get back to my lovely-" Eddie R. Lawson barged back into the kitchen and stopped in his tracks upon seeing Divya. "Speaking of lovely...I feel sure that we have not met. And if we have, then I must have been so rip-roaring drunk as to have been deemed socially unacceptable." He smiled his infectious, Snake-Oil Salesman smile as he approached Divya with an outstretched hand. "Eddie R. Lawson. Entrepreneur."

Evan gestured to Eddie, "Divya, may I present...Dad. Dad, this is HankMed's wonder-PA, Divya Katdare."

Divya regained her composure and politely shook his hand. "Mis-ter Law-son, I've heard so very much about you..."

"From which one of my sons?"

"Hank."

"Oh, that _is_ unfortunate." He looked to Evan and shrugged. "I had a 50/50 chance. Can't win 'em all, son." He chuckled at his own wit.

Hank came rushing back in as well, chiding Eddie with: "Please don't touch the PA. We'd like to keep her around for as long as we can. Hey, Divya."

Eddie waggled his brows and sucked on his cigar, "I'll bet you would."

Divya gave Eddie a sour look, but replied to Hank, "Good evening, Hank."

Hank looked from Divya then to Evan. "Everything...okay?"

Evan: "Fine." Divya: "Of course."

Hank nodded slowly, "Okay then. Dad, if you want a ride, this train's leaving the station right now."

Divya, dripping with sarcasm, spoke up, "Nice meeting you, Mr. Lawson."

Eddie spun around on his heel to regard her with a surprised look. "Oh. I _like_ her." He grinned. "She is _perfect _ for you, son. Are you two...?"

Divya's eyes widened and her eyes laser-beamed an incredulous look into Eddie.

Evan nervously let out a panicky, "Huh? What no, Dad. She's..."

Eddie blew out a puff of smoke. "That is too bad. You work in the same field, and she's a hellcat, I can tell. Opposites attract, Hank. You two would be good together. I'm just sayin'..."

Hank narrowed his eyes. Evan was too stunned to speak. Divya looked like she was formulating an escape strategy in her mind. Eddie grinned.

Hank broke the silence. "Charming, Dad. Truly. But Divya is just a co-worker and a friend. Besides..." He shrugged and a little smile played at his lips, as he looked to Evan. "She's spoken for. Right?"

Evan looked at his brother in horror and mouthed an aggressive "What are you talking about?" And then the lightbulb went off in his head. "Oh. Right. Yes." He looked to Eddie. "Divya's engaged, Dad."

Eddie snapped his fingers. "Oh well. Can't win 'em all, right?" He toasted Divya with his cigar. "Congratulations."

Divya wore a tight smile. "Thank you. As I was saying, I'd best be off."

Evan nodded to her, "Bye, Divya. And thanks."

Divya's sour disposition brightened into a very genuine smile as she nodded back, "You're welcome."

Hank darted out the door and Eddie followed him.

Evan called out, "Hey, wait up! Can I get a ride-along?" He grinned.

Eddie stopped in the doorway and winced. "You know, I need a little one on one time with Hank. You and I talk all the time. I need to play a little catch-up with my number one son." He winked. "You understand." And with that, he was gone.

Evan's breezy grin completely disintegrated. He stared at the empty open door for what felt like forever. When he finally did look away, his eyes went to Divya like a magnet. She was still standing in the other doorway, loosely holding her purse, returning the same shell-shocked look he must have been giving her.

Divya opened her mouth but couldn't find the words. She had just witnessed a father completely shatter his own son, and he had no clue he'd even done it. "Evan...I..I know how that must have sounded...but he meant his _firstborn_ son. You have to _know_ that."

Evan nodded mechanically, his eyes not really focusing on anything at all. "Sure..." Divya let her purse drop to the floor. "...yeah. Of course..." She walked toward him. "...absolutely..." Divya's expression was so sympathetic, she looked to be on the verge of tears herself. With open arms, she walked straight up to him and attached herself to him in a protective hug.

Resting her head against his chest, her face nestled in the nape of his neck, Divya squeezed him, whispering an almost barely audible, "I am _so_ sorry."

Like a defibrillator can save a dead man, Divya snapped Evan back to reality. He went from being stuck in that moment where his Dad was still in the doorway directly to Divya with her arms around him. He honestly couldn't recall how this happened. He heard her soft words and felt her warm breath tickle his neck. Her hair was crushed against the left side of his face and he smelled lavender. He never really had a strong opinion on the aroma of lavender before this moment. But now? Best. Smell. Ever.

His hands slid slowly across her back, finally returning her embrace. After an indeterminate amount of time that felt simultaneously like an eternity and less than a second at the same time to Evan, Divya slowly tilted her head up to look Evan in the eyes. The tip her nose never left contact with Evan, as it slid up his neck and to his chin, until she felt his breath wash over her. Blue eyes stared into brown eyes.

Then it happened again to Evan. The loss of time. One moment he was staring into her eyes, feeling quite sure the moment was over, and the next...their lips were crushed against each other. He didn't know how this happened, but what he _did_ know was that her bottom lip was between his lips and his upper lip was between hers. He was also keenly aware of Divya's hands rapidly sliding up his back and the subsequent acute, pleasurable pain of her nails digging into his skin.

Somewhere deep down in the murky mess that was Divya's mind, she knew she was kissing Evan. But most of her cognitive functions were marveling at the roaring fire blazing throughout her body. She had felt a spark when she and Evan had kissed before, but she had been so intent on saving Evan from the beat-down of the century, she didn't have the chance to...let go.

Like a snake, another thought worked it's way through this pleasure-induced delirium and then struck. This was nothing like her listless kiss with Raj. Raj. Raj was her fiance. Raj was going to be her husband. Raj was-Raj! A clear thought broke through, "What am I doing?" Clarity of thought returned to her, as she found her tongue in the middle of a wrestling match with Evan's.

Divya disengaged herself from Evan, and pulled away from him. She stepped back about 10 feet from him, her brain still clearing from the fog.

Evan's eyes snapped open as her lips left his, and he found himself feeling disoriented, staring at an equally disoriented Divya.

Divya shattered the silence, "Evan! Wh-! How-! What do you think you're doing?"

"At the moment? Trying to reclaim my equilibrium."

"How _dare_ you kiss me?"

"What? I didn't kiss _you_! You kissed _me_!"

Still breathless, Divya exclaimed, "I most certainly did not!"

"Ok, seriously? Now we're going to argue about _this_? Regardless of how _this _happened, I don't remember you trying to beat me off with a stick. In fact, I'm pretty sure the still tingling puncture marks on my back and your fingernails will be a spot-on match."

Divya's jaw dropped, and her eyes flared open all the way, "I am _engaged_, Evan."

"Yeah, ya know, I think I heard that somewhere."

"Evan-"

"Or maybe I read it."

"Evan!"

"What? You're telling me things I already know. Divya, what do you want me to say? I don't know how it happened, but I'm glad it did. I feel like I'm reeling from an Evander Holyfield upper-cut here and I _like_ it! Are you going to tell me you didn't enjoy that even one little, tiny, teeny bit?"

Divya opened her mouth, but Evan cut her off, pointing at her dramatically.

"Don't you lie to me, woman."

"Evan, whether I enjoyed it or not is hardly the point. It's completely immaterial."

"Well, it's certainly _a_ point. And one I think we need to discuss. And in what way is this _ghost-like_? I really...just don't get that...

"_Immaterial_ not _incorporeal_, you bloody buffoon. It means it's _irrelevant_. It doesn't _matter."_

"Doesn't-? Well of course, it doesn't matter to you. You've all but given up on yourself, just to please all these other nutjobs. Ma and Pa Katdare excluded...mostly. So even if Superman were to fly in here and tell you he wanted to make Superbabies with you, you'd be all like: Oh no, sorry Superman, I'm contractually bound to this man I'm totally in _like_ with!"

"Superman? Evan, what _are _you going on about?"

"Are you more of a Batman girl...?"

"I-I can't do this right now...I can't, Evan." She turned around, scooped up her purse and shot out the door into the early evening.

Evan silently cursed to himself and jogged out after her, stopping right outside the door. "Divya! Come back!" Looking miserable, he looked back inside then back in the direction she ran off in. "I can't eat all this mango by myself!"


	8. Chapter 8

Hank's eyes fluttered open and focused gradually on the red digital numbers of his alarm clock. 10:04 AM. With a pleasurable groan, he stretched his entire body, sat up in bed and let out a satisfied yawn. Koufax had been just fine, as he figured, but Mrs. Newburg had talked him into staying for after-dinner drinks. She had taken him on a tour of the house, since she had acquired quite a few new pieces of furniture and art since his last visit. Hank's head had hit the pillow around 1 AM. He was sleeping in today, and deservedly so.

Shirtless and in jogging pants, Hank rubbed his eyes and trotted down the steps to the first floor of the guesthouse. He had assumed when he got home earlier that morning that Evan had gone to sleep. But now he found Evan pacing back and forth, talking to himself, and in the same clothes he was wearing last night and sporting one hell of a five o'clock shadow. Hank stopped about halfway to the kitchen area.

"Morning...Evan. You do realize it's morning, right? As in AM? As in the next day?"

Still pacing and evidently still lost in thought, Evan spared Hank a look and replied absently, "Hmm? Oh, no I'm fine."

Hank muttered to himself, "That's...good to hear...Not what I _asked_..." Hank's brow creased as he continued into the kitchen and to the refrigerator. Opening it and retrieving a carton of OJ, he looked back to Evan. "You don't look fine. Evan, did you forget about that part where you sleep between periods of daylight again? It's what most of us do at night."

Evan nodded, "Yeah, I tried that. Several times, actually. It didn't take."

Hank poured a glass and returned the carton to the fridge. "And why is that? Last night, it looked like you and Divya had kissed and made up."

Evan mumbled, "Other way around."

"I beg your pardon? You made up and kissed? That doesn't make any- wait a minute. You and Divya..."

"Totally."

"Kissed?" He had to confirm it before he could wrap his head around the notion.

Evan finally stopped pacing and faced his brother, putting his two hands together out in front of him. "No, we did not _kiss_. You make it sound like a peck on the cheek or that uncomfortable full-on lips smooch you get from an aunt. No, Henry, we did not _kiss_. What did happen was our lips savagely collided with one another, and it caused this ginormous tear in the space-time continuum." Evan clapped his hands together in illustration and wrung them so tight, the veins in his arms were visibly straining. "Unbridled passion spilling out every which way with ridiculous intensity...like a...like a...severed artery with blood gushing everywhere." Hank grimaced at the awful analogy. "And then it sent out this _shockwave_ across the entire land." He made a sweeping gesture with one arm. "I'm surprised you and Dad didn't have a wreck on the way to Mrs. Newburg's."

Hank's eyes widened, and a little smile crept onto his face. His eyebrows jumped up. "Wow." He sipped his OJ.

"Wow? Just...wow? You could've at least exclaimed it. You sound like I just told you I made 4 free throws in a row."

"No, I would've added on the exclamation point for _that_. You suck at basketball."

Evan, "And there was tongue. Two tongues! Our tongues! And they were dancing all over each other, all wet and wild-"

"Ok ok ok. I get it. Really. Enough. So you and Divya..." he continued dramatically, "_...melted _into each other's lips, exploding into fiery...exploding parts-"

"Why don't you leave the colorful prose to me."

"I just woke up. Gimme a break."

"And I haven't slept in _twenty-five and half hours_. Try again."

"Whatever. So something else obviously happened, or you would've gone to bed-" Hank stopped and stared at his brother. "Is she-? Is she still here? Is she up in your-?

Evan looked appalled, "No! Get your mind out of the garbage disposal! _Divan_ is significantly more classy than _Jank_."

"What?"

"Nevermind. No, Henry, we did not..." He fumbled for words until he finally just pointed upstairs. "...do _that_."

"Okay, so what happened? _Something_ happened or else you wouldn't be all...Manic Monday. Even though it's Sunday." Hank pointed at Evan and said knowingly, "That's your fun day."

"A Bangles reference. Nice. If you can legitimately incorporate "Walk like an Egyptian" into this conversation, I'll _really_ be impressed."

"I have my moments. Now, spill."

"Well, there may have been a few heated words exchanged. Post passionate lip-explosion."

Hank pointed his index and middle fingers at Evan. "Between _you _two? Shocking. Let me guess: were some of those words: Raj? Wedding? _Engaged_?"

"Bingo."

Hank nodded, "Makes sense. So tell me: did you initiate all this or did she?"

Evan winced, "I'm a little fuzzy on that. The seconds leading up to it seem to have been erased in my brain by the main event."

"So, how did it end?"

Evan gave his brother a flat "how do you think?" look.

Hank grimaced a bit. "Evan, is it possible she didn't...feel the world shake, rattle and roll like you did?"

Evan stared at his brother and wordlessly unbuttoned his shirt. Taking it off, he turned his back to Hank. "I believe these _claw_ marks can testify on her behalf."

Hank's eyes widened, and then he chuckled. "Woooow! Eddie R. was right on the money with that "Tigress" comment, wasn't he? Okay, I'll accept the submitted evidence. Case closed on that question."

Evan turned around, his own eyes wide. "I know, right?"

"One might even say she _digs_ you." Hank grinned, pleased with himself.

Evan nodded and smiled sarcastically, "Yeah yeah yeah." He exhaled deeply and dropped limply down in a chair. "And now I have to figure out just what the hell I'm going to do about it. I'll tell you, the stakes just got raised through the roof on 'Project: Divya Staying in the Hamptons.'" He sighed and muttered, "Really need to work on that project title..."

Hank offered, "Well, it sounds like to me that the title needs to be either 'Project: Woo Divya' or 'Project: Drop it and Move on.' Ev, are you..." Evan looked up at Hank. Hank winced as he said the next highly volatile words, "...in..._love_ with her?"

Evan raised his hands up and quickly let them drop on to his knees in an exasperated fashion. "I don't know! How am I supposed to know that?"

Hank interjected, "Well, nobody else will..."

Evan frowned miserably. "I just figured out that I have these...feelings for Divya-"

"Really, Evan? You j_ust_ figured this out?"

Evan ignored that and continued, "...and there's like nothing I can do about it. I can't exactly go buy flowers and a heart-shaped box of chocolates, march over to her parents house, and ask her out to dinner and a movie, now can I?"

Hank interjected again, "I don't think _anybody_ does that anymore."

And, in turn, Evan ignored that too. "What I mean is: I can't go through the usual channels to find out what my feelings are for her."

"You mean: dating?"

Evan snapped his fingers on both hands and pointed them both at Hank. "Exactly."

"Yeah, her engagement really puts a damper on that, doesn't it?"

Evan frowned and said sullenly, "Stupid arranged marriage...And I hate that Raj guy. He's such a _jerk._"

Hank smirked. "Raj seems like a really good guy. He's not a jerk."

"Yeah, I know. But wouldn't it be great if he was?" He looked at Hank and shrugged. "You know what I mean."

"Alright, Evan, I'll tell you what you need to do..."

Evan turned in his chair to face Hank, and his eyes lit up. "I'll totally be your BFF if you do, Hank."

Hank smiled genuinely. "First, you need to go take a hot shower. Second, you need to _go to bed_. You need to sleep on this. The brain is incapable of making good, informed decisions without proper rest. _Your _ brain especially. After that, I'll be here if you want to talk some more. But ultimately, this is your decision. I can't tell you what to feel or what not to feel. I just want to see you happy. I want to see Divya happy too, but you're my brother, so you're my priority."

Evan stood up, smiling. "Ok, I'm leaving before this Hallmark moment ends in a hug. And as much as I love you, neither of us is wearing a shirt right now." He grabbed his shirt and headed for the stairs. Two steps up, he called out in a tired voice, "Thanks, Hank."

Hank smiled and called back,"You're welcome, Evan." He muttered to himself, "Good luck, brother. You're gonna need it."


	9. Chapter 9

Evan. It was the most frustrating name in the world. It had been bad enough when he simply had just annoyed her. Now _this?_ She couldn't help but hate him a little for the feelings she was having for him...which was of course the most awkward and strangest dichotomy of emotions. Evan. So frustrating.

Divya let the warm water from the shower head rain down on her scalp as her head was bent down and her eyes were closed. Her palms rested against the cool tiles of the shower. How had this happened? Why did she kiss him? And yes, upon further reflection, it was indeed she who had closed the distance between their lips. She resolved to never, ever admit that to anyone else. Which wasn't really a problem, as she had planned to never speak of it again.

Evan. But Evan would. It would be the first thing he would want to talk about with her. She couldn't exactly blame him, but it still annoyed her to no end. Out of nowhere, eyes still closed, she saw in her mind the picture he had forced her to take of him for her caller ID on her cell phone: that ridiculous expression with him winking and gnashing his teeth, yet somehow still smiling. It was crazy and childish. And it was funny. Divya couldn't stifle it, and she let out one burst of laughter. It was just so absurd. And bizarre. And zany. And...cute.

Divya's brow scrunched up, and her face wore a pained expression. "No, damn it. It's not cute. It's stupid and juvenile. And not even remotely cute." But it was. Raj would never be as reckless and carefree as Evan. In fact, no one she had ever known for any real period of time could ever come close to being as easygoing. Easygoing and carefree certainly weren't Katdare family traits. Structure and discipline were the roads to a successful life. Evan would never be anywhere near as successful as Raj or her father. He would just continue to fly by the seat of his pants and continue his carefree existence, enjoying everything he could as often as he could. That...that...is...no way to...live.

Divya's hands clenched into fists as she tried to force away the thoughts that were forming in her head: Living outside the plan. Living without one.

She exhaled in labored breaths and turned off the water. She looked at the cloudy, translucent glass door of the very spacious shower. It was time to step back into reality once more. Opening the door, she reached for her soft white towel awaiting her on the heated towel rack. Her bare feet were welcomed by the heated floor tiles of the even more spacious bathroom. As she wrapped the towel around her midsection, she heard the elegant chimes of the doorbell. Never in her wildest imaginations would she have thought it could be...

...Evan flashed his toothy grin at the housekeeper as she opened the door. He was wearing an aqua-blue, short-sleeve Lacoste knit shirt, a pair of loud, light plaid shorts, and his dark sunglasses concealed his eyes entirely. He had both hands behind his back. The housekeeper wore a guarded smile. "Good morning, can I help you?"

"You can! As long as I have the right house..." he muttered the next part, "...this time." He spoke up again, "Hi, I'm Evan R. Lawson, CFO of Hankmed. And is this the Katdare residence?"

The elderly housekeeper smiled and replied, "Yes it is."

Evan's exhaled in relief. "Third time's a charm right? By the way, just in case it's ever relevant, your next door neighbor..." He pointed to his left with his thumb. "...their butler is a _mean _man. And their doberman pinscher isn't overly fond of dashing, young jewish accountants. And I mean dashing _literally_. Fast dog, faster Evan R. Lawson, CFO of Hankmed. Is Mr. Devesh Katdare available or Mrs. Rubina Katdare, or perhaps their lovely daughter, Divya?"

The housekeeper stared up at Evan, trying to absorb everything he had just said to her. "Y-yes, Mr. Devesh is. Will you please wait here?"

"You bet. You can just tell him it's _Evan_. We're like this." He held up his index finger and middle finger, intertwined with each other. The housekeeper nodded. "Okay, please wait here."

Evan waited in the open door, as he heard her walk into the next room and say, "Mr. Devesh, an...Evan is here to see you."

"Who?"

"Oh dear. It was Evan...Lawson...and there was some more, but I'm sorry, I can't remember. He talks so _fast_."

Evan whispered to himself quickly, "I don't talk fast." He whispered again to himself just as quickly, "I _do_ talk fast."

Devesh Katdare appeared in the doorway, wearing a short sleeve, collared shirt with a sweater vest over it. A section of the Wall Street Journal, hanging loosely from his left hand. He nodded with recognition. "Ah yes. The boy who was first an MBA graduate student at Wharton, and then later a certified public accountant. Tell me, what are you today? If it is a door to door salesman, whatever it is you are peddling, I will gladly make a purchase if it will make you go away."

Evan blinked behind his sunglasses. "Oh no. No no. I'm not selling. I'm _giving_." He revealed two tupperware containers, one stacked atop the other, that he had been hiding behind his back. Devesh squinted at the offerings.

Evan smiled. "The bottom one is Chicken Tikka on skewers, straight from the HankMed grill. I just grilled it myself." He smiles winningly. "And the other is freshly baked Naan. Which is bread. Well you know that. The HankMed bread-maker is...on order...so I had to buy this, but it smells _fantastic_."

"You just grilled this? It's-" He looked at his watch. "-9:22 in the morning..."

"Yeah, I've had a really weird sleep schedule the past couple of days."

Devesh took the proffered containers from Evan and suddenly frowned at them.

Evan's eyes went wide. "You don't like these- Oh God, you're not allergic to naan or...or chicken are you? I _swear_ there's no wasps in this."

"No, it's not that. I like chicken tikka and naan very much. In fact, the gesture is most kind of you. This just means that social custom now dictates I have to invite you in."

Evan smiled wide. "Well, only if you _insist_."

Devesh grunted as he opened the door wider, and Evan slinked in. He flipped up his sunglasses, so that they rested on the top of his head, and ogled the really, really nice and really, really expensive decor. Devesh walked past him into a massive living room. "Rubina, darling,we have a guest. It's that fidgety accountant, Divya works with." Evan shot a comically confused and slightly offended look at Devesh from behind.

Rubina Katdare was sipping coffee and sitting with one leg over the other, a magazine in her lap. She uncrossed her legs and stood up when Devesh and Evan entered the room. She smiled, but it was obvious she was a bit surprised at the identity of the guest. "Oh. Hello, Evan." She gave Devesh a very brief questioning look, then smiled again to Evan. "Welcome to our home."

Devesh walked up to her and held up the tupperware. "And look. He brought us more Indian food." Rubina gave the containers an odd look then back to smiling and said to Evan, "How very thoughtful."

Devesh handed off the containers to the housekeeper "Please place these in the kitchen, Rose. Thank you." He walked over to the couch and retrieved his unattended cup of tea. He gestured to a very fine chair. "Please, won't you have a seat?"

Evan nodded and smiled, "I will. I will have a seat. Would Divya happen to be here? I saw her car outside, and I really need to talk to her. HankMed business. Finances. Nothing exciting. One might even say boring. But important, nonetheless."

The two older Katdares just stared at Evan as he rambled on, pretty much just like they had in the hospital when he had inadvertently blown the whistle on Divya's occupational double-life. Rubina smiled again. "She's upstairs, getting ready for the day. I'll let her know you're here." She got up to leave.

Evan nervously stood back up and held up an index finger, "One more thing, if you don't mind. Let her know that I'm not leaving until we do talk. Since...it's so important. The HankMed business. Finance business...discussion that I came to see her about...and for _no other_ reason that I can...even fathom." More staring from both Katdares. Rubina replied, "I will...inform of her of the matter's importance." She turned to leave again, but was stopped once more by Evan.

Evan smiled, "Thank you very much. But...if for some..." He waved his hands in a very animated fashion. "..._crazy _reason that doesn't convince her to come downstairs. And while I'm sure that won't be a problem, just let her know that she can take all the time she needs. I'll just spend some quality time with her wonderful parents. Just tell her that we've got _all_ kinds of things we could talk about. So many topics."

This time Rubina and Devesh stared at each other, as opposed to Evan. Rubina smiled nervously at her husband then back to Evan. "Absolutely. Is there...anything else?" Evan gave her the "OK" hand gesture. "Nope, I'm good. We're all good, right?" He looked to Devesh and nervously asked, "Are you good?" Devesh nodded slowly still staring at this...strange, strange man. Evan smiled at Rubina and whispered, "All good."

Rubina turned and left the room. Dead silence for nearly 30 seconds. Then Evan said, "How about that Wall Street Journal?" Devesh answered, "Yes, what about it?"

Evan muttered to himself through his nervous smile, "Please hurry up, Divya."

Divya was brushing her hair when she heard the knock at her door. "Come in." Rubina opened the door and walked in to her daughter's bedroom. "Divya-"

"Oh, Mummy! Good morning. I was just about to come down for breakfast."

Looking a bit dumbfounded, Rubina spoke again, "Divya, we...have a guest downstairs."

Divya's eyebrows went up and gave her mother an interested look. She asked pleasantly, "Oh? Who is it?"

"That man you temporarily work with."

Divya smiled and titled her head, "Hank? What is he-" Oh no. Her smile vanished like magic. Her eyes went wide. Her jaw dropped. Evan. She did her best to keep it together for the moment.

"No." She paused. "The _other_ one. Evan."

Divya forced herself to smile again. "O-oh-oh really? Really, Evan's here now? In...in our house?"

Rubina nodded, "Yes, he's downstairs speaking with your father."

Divya's eyes went wider, still smiling though and spoke in a high-pitched, nearly screeching tone, "Oh? Is that so? That's interesting! Did he happen to say what he wanted?"

"Yes, let me see if I can remember everything he wanted me to tell you. He's here to discuss urgent, yet unexciting business finances with you. And he really needs to speak with you now. He then told me to tell you that he would wait downstairs until he could talk to you, no matter how long it took." She paused and lowered her voice, "And Divya, I think I believe him. He's not a...drug user is he?"

Divya rolled her eyes. "No, but that would be an easier explanation..."

"And why does he keep bringing us Indian food? Does he think that's all we eat?"

Divya closed her eyes and actually chuckled barely, "Yes, probably."

"Well. And then he said he could just talk to us while you got ready. He said he had plenty of discussion topics."

Divya's eyes widened again, and she laughed nervously. "Oh no! I- I wouldn't do that to you and Daddy. Let's go right now. In fact, let's walk briskly." She all but pushed her mother out of the room, then closing the door behind her.

Divya and Rubina walked down the hall rather quickly, turning the corner into the main living room to find Evan and her father talking.

"-high yield bonds much more preferable due to the conservative risk. But, as you know...the gains tend to be just as conservative." Evan chuckled.

Devesh nodded, "That's actually quite the insightful observa-" He looked up. "Ah, good morning, Divya." He stood and gave her a fatherly smile. Evan hopped up too and gave her a lame, little wave. "Mornin', Div." Devesh shot him a look, and Evan quickly tacked on, "ya." He coughed. "Sorry, just got a little something caught in my throat between the two syllables in her name. How are you, Divya? You look well."

Divya gave Evan a brief inferno stare then smiled. "I _am _well. Thank you for asking. What are you doing here? _In my parents house_."

"Important unscheduled meeting. Very important."

"Oh I doubt it's _that_ important." She flashed him a severe gaze.

"Oh, I'm afraid it is. Life-altering really." He flashed the same gaze back.

"Don't you think we could go over this at the regularly scheduled staff meeting?" Severe gaze.

Evan winced, "I really don't. Time sensitive stuff. Sorry." Severe gaze.

Rubina and Devesh were following this exchange like one would observe a tennis match. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Divya just stared at him and finally smiled and gave him an icy, "Fine."

Evan smiled back, "Awesome. We can talk on the way to the restaurant. I've got a table waiting at the pier." Divya was about to interrupt, but Evan kept going, "Breakfast meeting. And I would _totally_ invite you, Mr. and Mrs. Katdare, but this is sensitive HankMed information. You understand." He fished through his pocket and produced some keys. "Shall we?"

Devesh eyed the keys. "How did you get here? I did not see a car parked in the driveway." He lifted some blinds on a window and peered out.

Evan replied, "I parked on the street. It was just easier after the second wrong house I went to..."

"All I see is a golf cart."

"That...would be mine. Well, not mine. But it's on loan from a very dear friend and landlord. Is he still a landlord when you don't pay him rent?"

Devesh looked back to Evan. "Didn't you previously drive a red sports car?"

Evan paused. "I did. I did, but I traded it in for a more _open_ _air _vehicle..."

More staring at Evan.

"Okay! Divya, you ready to rock n' roll? Mr. and Mrs Katdare, it was a real pleasure as always. We ought to get together again real soon." He said to Rubina, "By the way, you have a lovely home. It's very large...and...and...intimidating. Shall we?" He gestured to Divya.

Divya closed the door after she and Evan were outside.

Evan scratched the back of his head, turning to Divya. "Well, I have to say, that went a _lot_ better than I thought it would..."

"Evan! What the hell do you think you're doing? Coming to my _house_, under the false guise of important business? This is so typical of-"

He interrupted her with an incredibly unusual (for him) sober expression and raised voice, "This _is _important business." His blue eyes stared into her brown eyes.

After a few long seconds, he turned and trotted down the steep driveway to the golf cart and started her up. He looked up. "Look! I can _try_ and come pick you up, but I'm just having some serious doubts about getting this thing up that hill." He rested his arm on the steering wheel, smiled softly and asked her, "Can you at least meet me half-way?"

Divya, arms crossed, stared down her driveway, the loaded question hanging in the air between them.


	10. Chapter 10

"Evan. Evan, turn around right now. We're taking my car." Divya gripped the golf cart's "oh sh*t" bar like a vice, as they felt every single bump, crack and general imperfection in the road.

"Relax, we're almost there." Evan had the "gas" pedal floored, resulting in an unimpressive top speed nonetheless.

"Almost there? We're still on my parents' street!"

Evan waited until he made the the turn on to another road before replying, "Um, no we're not." He smiled at her from ear to ear, wearing his sunglasses.

Divya eyed him with a flat, irritable expression, as she desperately tried not to be thrown from the vehicle after Evan's chaotic sharp right turn. "Keep your eyes on the road. I'd prefer to avoid the embarrassment of having to crawl to Hank to have my mild abrasions treated after crashing in this deathtrap. Are we even traveling at 20 miles per hour?"

"_Please_. We just cracked the 27 mark."

Divya fixed her gaze on Evan, as difficult as that was with all the constant bumps. "Why _is_ it that you haven't purchased a new car yet? If you sold your Roadster _and_ Eddie R. paid back all the money he took...by all rights, you should have plenty enough money to buy a new car."

Evan replied without looking at her. "I'm saving up for a new Tesla. That heiress won't part with my baby...believe me: I tried to buy her back. I've got a good chunk of change squirreled away, but not quite enough to buy a brand-spanking new one. But I _do_ have an in with Marshall Bryant. Well. With Tucker Bryant anyway. So I'm just biding my time, and settling for this temporary _side-grade_." He reached up and slapped the "dashboard" lovingly.

Divya smirked and snorted. "Side-grade, indeed. Why are you so enamored with that car? You could probably afford nearly any other car in the world...within reason."

Evan thought about that for a moment, then spared her a look. "Because. Once you've found the best...you just can't settle for the rest."

Divya couldn't see into his eyes, what with his sunglasses, and she hated that since it made it nearly impossible to read him in that moment. She was horrified to feel a deep blush wash over her face and immediately turned away from him. "I...see." She closed her eyes and tried to will the traitorous blush away.

After a few moments of silent driving, Evan turned off the main "highway" into the little center of town. "So. You wanna...talk about what happened the other day...or...?"

Divya, still looking away from him. "Oh? What day?"

Evan rolled his eyes and sank a little in the seat. "The day the music died. What day do you think I'm talking about? Come on, Divya, are you really going to pull the selective amnesia card on me with this? Because, Missy, I will turn this cart around and take you straight back home, I swear I will."

Divya peered at Evan incredulously and piped up, "Good! Good, let's go right now!"

Evan mouthed, "Damn." Then he muttered, "Set myself up for that one." Then he replied to Divya, "Fine, I won't take you home. I'll take you to the _opposite_ of your home."

Divya opened her mouth, closed it, lifted one brow and shook her head slowly. "What-?"

Evan blurted out, "Yeah, I don't know what that means either. But rest assured: the threat is still there. And it's...it's a serious one."

Divya, with the same expression, asked, "What the hell are you talking about, Evan?"

"Let's just move on, shall we? The day we totally hooked up, Divya! You are killing me here!"

Divya felt that treacherous blush returning, but felt confident she could disguise any visible trace of it as mere anger. "_Hooked up? _Fine. Fine, Evan. Yes, we..." She looked around and lowered her voice, "shared one kiss. And it should never have happened."

"Two kisses actually. And: Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda. But, you see, it _did_ happen. I should know: I was one of the principal players. And, unless I'm mistaken, and I'm not by the way: it was a good time had by all. A r_eeaaaallly_ good time."

"Evan, that's neither here nor there-"

Evan parked the golf cart down the road away from the crowds. "It's _completely_ here...and there. And _everywhere_. Divya, I'm totally exposing myself here...not literally, don't worry...so please resist your usual urge to go straight for my jugular." He took a deep breath and ripped his sunglasses off. "I think...I kind of sort of maybe..._like_ you." Divya just stared at him. "And I _have_ to know...is there some itsy-bitsy part of you that maybe kind of sort of likes me too?"

Divya was uncomfortable. That was the understatement of the century. Logic was in a brutal, bloody battle to the death with Emotion. Emotion was the underdog, because it was so mixed.

Evan nervously muttered, "I can write Yes, No or Maybe on a post-it note if that helps at all."

Divya's voice faltered, "Ev- Evan, you...you're placing me in an awful and impossible situation here."

Evan kept his eyes zeroed in on hers. "No. Your parents did that a long time ago. I've been trying to get you out of it, remember?"

Divya sighed and gave in. "Yes, it is slightly possible that somewhere in the deepest recesses of my flawed psyche is the smallest...miniscule...infinitesimal glimmer of possible...feelings for you."

Evan smiled. "Good enough. And, Divya, I'm right there with you. I don't know what this is." He flicked his finger back and forth between them. "I've no freakin' clue how this happened, unless it's just some Beauty and the Beast kinda thing. But if anybody else calls you Beast, I'm laying the Jersey smack-down on 'em." Divya couldn't help but laugh at that. She'd been doing that a lot more lately. Why was Evan so much funnier lately?

Evan smiled. "But I'd really like the chance and _time_ to figure it out."

Divya, being jerked back into reality once again, stated, "But there _is _no time, Evan. In a little over a month, I will be married. And in _London_. So the best thing we could possibly do is just forget this ever happened. Forget that we even had this conversation. We'll be out of each other's sights, out of each other's minds and separated by an entire ocean."

"Ok. I'm sorry, Divya. Incoming tough love: you have got to stop being such a _wuss_ about all this."

Per the norm, Divya's defensive temper flared, "_Wuss_?"

"Yeah, ya know: cowardly, gutless, wimpy, spineless." He then made an absurd face and then made like a chicken with an equally absurd sounding, "Ba-Kawk!"

Divya tried her best not to blow up at Evan. "Evan! I will reiterate what I have told you so many times: you have absolutely no idea what my situation is like. You don't have the pressures of a mother and father breathing down your-" She closed her eyes, frustrated by yet another unintentional, thoughtless comment at Evan's expense. "Oh damn it all! Evan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I know your mother passed away-"

Evan stopped her, nodding. "No, it's cool. I know you didn't mean anything. See? Look at us. Look how far we've come. Look how _evolved_ and mature-"

"Mature? Don't push it, Evan."

"Point conceded."

Divya smiled sadly and took his hands in hers. "I'm not _chickening_ out, Evan. I simply don't want to lose my family. They're the most important thing in my life. Just like how Hank is the most important thing in yours, whether you'd admit it or not."

"But Divs, your parents love you. I can totally see that. Do you honestly think they'd _disown_ you and toss you into the street if you backed out of this marriage?"

Divya remained quiet, "I don't know. And I can't afford to gamble on that one way or the other."

Evan squeezed her hands gently. "Don't you think that's something you need to find out? I screwed up _big time_ with Hank. I almost put him in the poor house, and you know what he did when I left? He came after me. Not to _lay into_ me. But to come _get_ me. I thought I had completely trashed our relationship. But family can surprise you. If you give them the opportunity."

"Evan, I understand what you're saying. And I'm glad yours and Hank's relationship is strong again. I really and truly am. But you made that discovery by circumstance. By changing my circumstances, I would be actively and willingly challenging the relationship with my family. That is completely different. I simply can't afford to lose them. Especially over...what essentially boils down to an emotional _hunch_."

She continued, dominating the conversation for once: "If there was more certainty about this." She paused. "About you and me. Then things would be possibly different. And, yes, Evan, as terrifying the thought might be, I'd...very much like to take the time to find out more...about this." She quickly added, "If there _is _more, I mean. And the likelihood of that is so microscopic that-"

Evan broke in with a sarcastic, "Alright, I get it."

She smiled. "But the reality is: I don't have the luxury of time."

"We make our _own_ reality. It's called free thought and free will. It's what makes us better than the platypus."

She looked at him questioningly with her usual "please explain that last part" look.

"I just think those little guys are really cool...If it was legal, I'd have one for a pet in a heart beat. I'd call him Hank, Jr." His eyes lit up. "Or check it: _Henry the Second_."

A whimsical smile played across Divya's lips. Evan had the uncanny knack to help her escape reality, if only for the briefest of moments. "I would literally pay money to see Hank's face when you made that epic introduction."

"Tell you what: you stay in the Hamptons, and I'll use the money from the Tesla Roadster fund to smuggle in Henry II. Deal?"

Divya sighed. A duck-billed platypus. He was being so absurd. She just wished she didn't find it so charming as well. The thought of Hank's face made her want to laugh out loud...and cry at the same time. Whatever it was she was feeling for Evan, she loved both those brothers and had more fun with them than she could ever remember having before. She was in love with her job. And not just because of what she did, but also who she did it with. She couldn't wait to get to work everyday. Would she feel that way about her new job and co-workers in London? The indisputable answer made her want to cry even more.

The pain on her face must have been evident, because Evan's hopeful grin disappeared and a tentative look of worry replaced it. "Divya-"

Divya shook her head, doing everything she could to stave off the tears that were unquestionably on their way. She let go of Evan's hand and removed herself from the golf cart. "I'm sorry, Evan. There's nothing else to discuss. I'm sure I'll see you at...work..." There they were. Covering up sobs, she crossed and grabbed her arms across her chest and stormed down the sidewalk away from a wide-eyed Evan. He helplessly watched her disappear into the morning Hamptons crowd.


	11. Chapter 11

Hank, dressed in his usual casual attire, and Divya, decked out in an olive suit and pants, walked into the guesthouse together. Hank set his medical bag on the table.

Divya, continuing a conversation from outside, smiled, "Well. Regardless, that was some pretty quick thinking and a rather unconventional medical solution. But then again, by now I should hardly be surprised."

Hank smiled easily at the compliment, "What can I say? I'm good at improv. But I couldn't have done it without you."

Her smile weakened. "Thank you. But...you're going to _have_ to do these things without me very soon." She let that hang in the air for a moment, as Hank met her gaze wordlessly. "Hank, have you even started to look for someone to replace me?"

Hank smiled sadly, "I don't think there's anyone that could replace you, Divya."

Divya smiled again at the heartfelt return compliment. "Thank you. But you will _need_ a physician's assistant. And you can't wait until I've left to start searching for one. It could take months to find the right match.."

Hank mused, "That's true. He or she has to be quick on their feet, has to know their stuff, have a good beside manner, and has to be able to put up with HankMed's CFO. That's a tall order. Especially that last part."

Divya smirked. "Truer words have never been spoken." She added, "But I think Evan's come quite a long way. He's...growing."

"That's good news. He'll have to buy all new clothes. This time around we need to get him a shopping coach."

"You _know_ what I meant."

"Yes, and I agree with you. I'm just surprised _you_ agree with you. Er, you know..."

"Well, Evan and I have had-" Her eyes naturally wandered to the man standing in the doorway, and was so startled, she literally jumped. She hadn't seen or heard him approach.

Hank turned around. "Dieter?" Dieter was the manservant of Hank and Evan's "landlord" and benefactor, Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz. Dieter stood woodenly in the doorway without saying a word as Boris walked up behind him, dressed in a fashionable suit as always.

Hank looked to Divya then to Boris, "Boris. What can I do for you?"

Boris absently scratched the side of his chin, standing in his ever-regal stance. "Hello, Hank. Miss Katdare." Divya smiled and nodded. "Your brother has been...borrowing one of my golf carts as his mode of general transportation, yes?"

Hank squinted a little then replied, "I believe so. I mean, yes he has. If that's a problem, I'll be happy to talk to him about it."

Boris held up a hand. "No. That's not what this is about. Is he here?"

Hank, showing a bit of growing concern on his face, simply shook his head.

"Yes. I was afraid of that. I received a call from a state police officer informing me that one of my carts was found smashed on the rocks on the south shore of Threemile Harbor. The officer was convinced it was driven off a particularly dangerous bend in County Road 40. He opined the drop to be...200 feet." Hank's face almost completely drained of color, and he was already fumbling in his back pocket for his cell phone. Divya was just staring at Boris, eyes wide as saucers. Her brain was still processing this information.

Boris continued, "I just checked with the garage, and there is only one cart unaccounted for. I, of course, already tried to contact your brother. But there was no answer."

Hank was barely listening to Boris. He hit the speed dial. One ring. Divya had focused her attention on Hank. Two rings. Divya's breathing hastened and whispered, "Answer the phone, Evan. Please." Three rings. Hank closed his eyes in frustration and worry.

"Hello, you've reached Evan R. Lawson, CFO of HankMed. Your call is very important to us, so please leave a message, and I'll call you back." Beeeeeeeep.

Hank, in a raised voice, fired into his phone, "Evan, where are you? Call me as soon as you get this message. I mean it, Evan." Divya took out her own phone and immediately called Evan herself. Same result. She tried it again with shaking fingers. No answer. She exchanged a very panicked look with Hank.

Hank grabbed his bag and practically ordered Boris, "Tell me exactly where this place is."

Boris, unfazed by Hank's demeanor, replied, "It wouldn't be wise for you to drive in your understandably emotional state." He turned stiffly to regard Dieter. "Bringen Sie das Auto herum." Dieter nodded and left instantly. Boris turned back to Hank. "Dieter will bring the car around. Hank...I realize it's easy for me to say this; however, I would advise you to not jump to any conclusions until we've spoken with the police and been to the scene ourselves."

Divya walked briskly to Hank's side and gave Boris a near-defiant look, "I'm coming as well. And, no, I'm not asking."

Boris gave her an appraising look but maintained his usual stone face. "Of course. I wouldn't expect otherwise." He gestured to the open french doors, "Shall we?" Hank wordlessly raced out the door, Divya in tow. Boris didn't run, but he didn't dawdle either.

As Dieter drove the limo down County Road 40, Boris sat across from Hank and Divya in the luxurious back seating area. Hank asked Boris, "Are you certain this is your cart? How did the police know to call you?" Divya tried calling Evan again.

Boris replied soberly, "While golf carts are not required by state law to have license plates, I opted for them regardless. For identification purposes. For...I suppose...situations just like this." He paused. "I'm...sorry, Hank. The cart is mine. I wish it wasn't."

Divya, legs bouncing in impatience, worry, and now a little anger, let slip, "Why? Because you're worried about your precious toy car?" Hank held up a hand. "Divya, don't-" She regained her composure but continued to stare challengingly at the aristocratic man across from her.

Boris, never having lost his own composure, met her stare and said softly yet gravely, "Miss Katdare, I assure you: I care absolutely nothing about my _golf cart_."

Dieter pulled the car off the side of the road. Two police cars were blocking one of the lanes, as one of the officers slowed and directed traffic. About 10-12 feet of railing on the outside lane had been bent and ripped away by something. Beyond the railing, the midday sun reflected off the calm, blue waters of Threemile Harbor. Police tape cordoned off the area around the torn railing.

Hank sprang from the limo and ran by the female police officer directing traffic. "Sir. Sir! This is a police investigation. You can't come any closer." She grabbed his arm, but he ripped it away. Dieter walked briskly to the officer, and spoke with her, showing her some identification. Divya was right on Hank's heels.

One county police officer was speaking into a police-issue handheld 2-way radio, conferring with the a police boat down below. Another man was down on one knee with a long-lens camera pointed straight down over the side. Hank skidded to a stop. "Excuse me! Who's in charge here?" The man on the 2-way radio turned around. "I am. Who are you?"

"They're both with me, Sergeant." Boris walked up, holding his identification up for the officer to see. Boris carefully leaned over to view the wreckage. At the very bottom of the cliff was an ugly mess of metal and plastic that used to be one of Boris' golf carts. Boris squinted and frowned, then turned to the Sergeant. "Have your men found anything?" He eyed Hank and Divya over the Sergeant's shoulder and added in a lowered voice, "Or anyone?"

The Sergeant shook his head. "Not yet. Our boat just got here."

Boris nodded grimly and gestured to the railing. "It would have been impossible for my cart to punch through the steel railing. How did this happen?"

"We had a heavy rain two weeks ago. A sixteen wheeler skidded, while rounding that bend, and met up with the railing. The railing lost. This a historically dangerous stretch of road, Mr. Kuester. I've been saying we need a high cement wall along here for years. And I've been out-voted every time by fans of..." He made a broad sweeping gesture out toward the harbor. "...the _view_."

Hank and Divya were staring over the side, looking for any sign of Evan...and praying they wouldn't find one. The police boat was "parked" by the rubble. A man on board was in the midst of donning a wetsuit. The officer with the camera looked up. "Please step back. Trust me, you don't want to fall. You wouldn't survive the landing." Hank ignored the officer, and turned his back on the scene and tried calling Evan again. "Damn it, Evan. Answer your damn phone." The guy with the camera tilted his head, then looked to the Sergeant. "Did you hear that?" He pointed down over the side. "Thought I heard a cell phone ringing." Hank spun around in the middle of leaving Evan yet another message. He trailed off mid-message and looked like he'd just been punched in the gut.

The Sergeant eyed the cameraman and then Hank, then lifted the 2-way radio to his mouth. "Listen up. Did you hear a cell phone ring? We're dialing the number again." He pointed at Hank. "Keep your ears open." Hank hit the speed dial.

Everyone at the top waited in silence. Hank and Divya stared with dread at the 2-way radio. The radio crackled, and a voice came over. "Yep. There's a smashed up cell down here amongst the rocks. " The same voice sounded from Hank's cell phone, "Hello? I can't believe this damn thing still works..."

Divya slowly raised a hand to cover her mouth as the tears collected in her eyes, blurring her vision. The whole world went out of focus.

Hank stared out across the surface of the lake with reddening eyes. His bottom lip quivered ever so slightly. His fingers loosened their grip, and the cell phone fell to the dirt at his feet.

_Two Hours Earlier..._

The wind was whipping at Evan, his shirt flapping in the strong gusts blowing in off the ocean. Hands clasped, he was leaning forward on the pier's railing, staring out at the sea through his sunglasses.

"Okay, so what_ now_? On the one hand, it totally makes sense that she wants to protect the relationship with her family. I _get_ that. But on the other hand, she's flushing her entire life down the toilet. But _she_ doesn't get _that_. But on the other, other hand, Hank's right: Raj seems like a decent guy. And he'll take care of her and buy her expensive clothes and jewelry and mink coats and…other kinds of coats. But on the other, other, _other _hand, she doesn't need a sugar-daddy. She needs somebody who cares about her, and somebody she cares about."

A little boy, one hand holding the string of a big red balloon and the other a melting ice cream cone, pointed at Evan and asked the lady beside him, "Mommy? Who's that man talking to?" The child's mother was texting someone on her cell phone and looked up briefly. "No one, sweetie. He's a crazy person. Don't point." Her attention went straight back to her cell phone. Evan indeed appeared to be having a very animated argument with the ocean, gesturing wildly this way and that.

"I mean I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. What exactly am I supposed to do here?"

A voice from behind him replied, "First thing I'd do is stop talking to myself in public. But that's just me."

Evan whirled around to find a lanky, dark haired teenager in a red, collared short-sleeve shirt, faded jeans and red canvas Converse shoes. Evan smiled easily and extending one of his hands. "Hey, Tucker. What's goin' on, man?"

Tucker Bryant clasped the offered hand with his. In response to Evan's question, he lifted his other hand, which held a plastic bag from the local Mom and Pop style farmer's market. "Emergency organic vegetable run. I'll give you three guesses for who, but I'm pretty sure you'll get it in one."

"Oh right, yeah: your girlfriend. The _health conscious _one."

Tucker chuckled, "Health Conscious. That's _one_ way to pitch it."

"Livvie, right?"

"Naw, man: Libby."

"What'd _I_ say?"

"Livvie."

Evan stared at the young man and shrugged. "I'm not hearing the difference…"

"Lib-BEE. BEE."

"Got it. I'm with you now. We're on the same page."

"Different book though, right?"

"Oh ho, funny guy. Leave the jokes to me, junior."

Tucker squinted and shielded his eyes from the sun in the distance. "So what's got you so worked up, dude?"

Evan started walking down the boardwalk, Tucker keeping up beside him. Evan sighed, looking out toward the water. "Women. One in particular."

"But I thought you had all this _lady knowledge_…"

Evan mock-frowned and pointed at him, and said, "You're only supposed to quote me when it benefits me in the moment or lends credence to something _else_ I've said."

A good-natured, genuine smile appeared on Tucker's face. "Sorry. It's just that your words are so…_inspiring_. Especially your advice: It's-"

"Horrible? Confusing? Toxic?"

Tucker nodded. "All of the above and more."

"Tucker, I'd advise you to ignore my advice. Don't think about that too hard, or the paradox will blow your mind. Literally. Chunks of grey matter everywhere."

Still smiling, Tucker nodded. "Noted. So is she your girlfriend?"

"Uh, _no_."

"She know you even exist?"

"Oh…oh she's _painfully_ aware of my existence."

"Divya, huh?"

"Yea- What-? What the _hell_? How did you-?" Evan eyed Tucker warily. "The force is _strong _with this one."

"Better believe it." He shrugged and said, "Divya's cool. And she's pretty hot. There's your paradox number two. Plus, she _kind of_ gets a few extra points for helping save my Dad's life and all."

Evan closed his eyes and winced, stopping in his tracks. "Right. Man, I'm sorry. I didn't even ask. How's he doing? Have you…talked?"

Tucker hunched one shoulder up. "Don't sweat it. It's cool. And yeah. He's better. It's definitely been better for…us. Before, it was like we always had to pretend we didn't see the giant elephant in the room, ya know?"

Evan nodded.

"It's…liberating. I don't feel that nervous pressure of trying to sidestep and completely avoid certain subjects entirely…namely his drinking. And pill-popping. It's also weird, 'cause it's so unfamiliar." He paused before adding, "But _good_ weird."

"Hey, I'm really glad to hear that."

"Thanks." They started walking again. "So you've got a thing for her?"

"Tucker, my man, I don't know _what_ it is I've got for her. I wish I did so I could figure out what to do about it."

"She on the same page as you? And in the same book?"

Evan made a face and held up his index finger and thumb about two inches apart. "Little bit? Sort of?"

They both strolled off the boardwalk and down a sidewalk on the main thoroughfare of the little downtown district. Tucker peered at Evan sideways. "So let me see if I have this straight. You really don't know how she feels about you. _And_ you don't know how _you_ feel about her."

"Yeah, I know." Evan brought one hand up to his head and formed the shape of a gun, dropping his thumb like a hammer. He jerked his head askew, making a pretty convincing gunshot sound. "Right?"

Tucker's lips formed a one-sided grin. "Pretty much."

Evan stopped as instant confusion crept on to his face. He counted parking spaces silently beside the sidewalk. Tucker stopped walking and looked at him. "Evan, what're you doing?"

Evan, seemingly ignoring Tucker, flicked his eyes up across the street. Yep. There was the bookstore. Riiiiight where he'd parked early this morning. Confusion bled into panic. His eyes went wide. He rested both of his hands on top of his head in an exasperated manner. "Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me!"

Tucker's brow creased as he tried to follow Evan's eyes and reasoning. "What is it?"

"I totally got _cart-jacked_!"

"Don't you have to actually be _in_ the car at the time to be car-jacked...?"

Evan dropped his hands and gave Tucker a sour look and said in a deadpan voice, "Thank you Tucker. That was ever so helpful. Crisis averted."

Tucker shrugged, lifting his hands, palms upward.

Evan resumed panicking, hands back on top of his head. "I can't believe I lost the cart. I can't believe I lost _Boris'_ cart- Oh my God. Boris is going to kill me. He's going to feed me to the shark. I am _so_ going in the shark tank."

"Dude, what're you talking about?"

Evan gave Tucker a wild-eyed comically frenzied look. "Don't talk to me. I can't talk back: I'm shark-bait. I'm _chum_. Chum can't talk. Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap."

Tucker couldn't help but smile a little at Evan's antics. "Evan, man, calm down. It's just a golf cart. Just call it in to the police."

"The police. Yeah. Right." He fumbled through his pockets. "Where's my pho-?" Evan had a dreaded flashback of tossing his phone in the cart's glove box cubby-hole . More fumbling in his pockets. "Where're my keys?" And then an even worse flashback steam-rolled over him. The keys. Dangling from the ignition. Panic returned. "I...I won't even be good enough for the shark. I will literally make the shark _dumber_ for eating me..."

Tucker bit his lip as his own amusement grew. "You...you left the keys in the ignition? Tell me, Evan, is this what happened to your sports car too?"

Evan shot a look at Tucker that seemed to have the opposite effect than Evan intended, as Tucker covered his mouth with his forearm, fighting like mad not to burst out laughing.

Evan replied cooly, "No. I sold the Tesla-"

"For a _golf cart_."

"Dude! I didn't _trade_ them..." But it was pointless. Tucker was already laughing out loud.

"I'm...I'm sorry...I'm so...I'm so sorry, Evan...Oh, I can't breathe..."

Evan face-palmed and closed his eyes, grimacing. He murmured to himself, "I am a dead man."

_Two Hours Even Earlier..._

The golf cart went sailing, just as they'd hoped it would. The two teenagers exploded in laughter and high-fived each other as the wingless golf cart violently slammed into the wet rocks below. One of the boys had filmed the failed flight on his cell phone. He shut it off and chuckled, "YouTube!" The other said, "We better get outta here." And the two boys ran down the road, giddy with youthful excitement.

_Back To The Present..._

Boris stood beside Hank, who was now on his knees, staring into the distance with red, bleary eyes. Boris eyed the good doctor, but never made any gesture to console him. Firstly, as much as he liked Hank, that was just not his way. Secondly, he knew nothing he did _could_ in fact console him.

Divya had walked down the side of the road and stood alone. At the moment, she wasn't sure she'd ever stop crying. She wasn't sure if she wanted to.

Back up the road near the scene of the "accident," a red Ferrari pulled around the bend. Evan was riding shotgun. "Hey, thanks again."

Tucker shrugged. "No problem. Least I could do for busting on you so bad."

Evan smirked then squinted, "Whoah, what happened here?" Tucker slowed down and said, "Weird. Why's there a limo?"

"Hey, pull over! That's Boris...and Hank?"

Hank was somewhere amidst denial, acceptance, anger and heartbreak. A hundred thoughts were bouncing around in his head. _They haven't found a body. But they would. Damn you, Evan. Why were you so reckless? How could you leave me...alone like this? I'll have to plan Evan's funeral. Oh God. It was the two of them since the beginning. He had just taken it for granted that it always would be. He'd have to tell Dad. He was alone with Dad now, which meant he was completely alone. He'd forgiven Evan, but had he told him? Had he really told him or just implied? You'll never have that chance..."_

Evan poked his head over the side. "Hey, guys. What's goin-Whoooaahh. That doesn't look good-" His eyes went wide. "Oh my God. Oh oh oh oh no." His mouth dropped open. "Boris, I am _so_ sorry. In fact, I'm...I'm the _sorriest_. I will buy you a new one. A _better_ one. Not that yours wasn't great. But I'm talking gold rims, genuine pleather seats, maybe...maybe a siren. No that's stupid-"

Boris blinked repeatedly and turned his head very slowly to regard the babbling newcomer and quirked one eyebrow in surprise, the only sign that betrayed his ever-stoic presence.

Hank was hearing things. Things he desperately wanted to hear. He spun and wrenched his head around to see his brother above him, rambling out some absurd apology to Boris, who's lips had curled upwards ever so slightly at one corner.

Evan prattled on, "No, that's stupid. You're not the police. You probably like..._own_ the police and-" Hank sprang to his feet and launched himself into his brother, knocking the wind out of him completely. "-Ooof!"

Hank closed his eyes squeezing with all his strength. "Thank God, you...stupid...stupid fool. Thank God."

Evan's eyes were wild with confusion. "Henry? I love you, too, but I'm a little scared right now..."

Hank pulled back, but placed his hands on both sides of Evan's head. Hank's eyes were bloodshot, and multiple tracks of tears had made their way down his face. Evan's confusion only heightened. Hank whispered in a broken voice, "Dead. We thought you were dead. _I_ thought you were dead, Evan."

"Dead? Wh-?" He stopped. Lightbulb. "Ooooooooooohhh." Understanding finally, Evan returned his brother's hug. "I'm fine, Hank. Really." He paused. "I'm an _idiot_. But I'm fine." Hank laughed in sobs.

Tucker had walked over but had stopped, startled by the emotional onslaught. He now took the time to peer cautiously over the edge. "Aaaaaaand there it is."

Boris crossed his arms. "You gave everyone quite a scare, Mr. Lawson. I'm pleased to see you're unharmed." Evan eyed Boris suspiciously and asked Hank in a low voice, "Did he say _unharmed_ or _unarmed_? Should I start running...or just dive off and hope for a water landing?"

Hank smiled and chuckled at his brother but mainly in relief. Boris faintly smiled sarcastically and continued, "I believe there's one other who might be relieved to hear the news of your passing was premature." His eyes darted down the side of the county road.

Hank breathed out, "Divya. I forgot. Divya!"

Evan's eyes followed Boris' directions. "What? Divya's here? Does...does she think I went splat too?" He looked to Hank. "Did she...seem upset or-?"

Hank barked, "Evan!" Tucker tried not to smile.

Evan conceded, "Right. Inappropriate. Sorry." He jogged down toward her.

Divya had heard Hank calling her and had turned around to make her way back up to...the place Evan had died. The weight of it all came crushing down on her again. How many times could it keep doing that before she fell to the ground?

The tears in her eyes clouded her vision, and she had to be careful not to fall off the side herself. She saw Hank running down to meet her. She wanted to be strong, but she was so very glad he was there.

Hank held up both hands as he got closer and then Hank spoke in Evan's unmistakable voice "Divs. Relax. It's okay. I'm okay. Are _you _okay?"

She stopped and wiped at the mess that was her eyes. It wasn't Hank. Somehow...he was there. And she didn't care why. In this moment, Logic didn't have a chance. Emotion emerged as the clear victor. "Evan?" She dashed full speed toward him.

Evan muttered, "This is going to hurt more than Hank-Ooof!"

Divya bear hugged him, and he returned it. He whispered, "I'm fine! I swear!" She withdrew from him briefly enough to reposition for a lip-lock. He felt her face, wet with tears, against his. She broke the kiss and stared up at him, and he recognized in those brown eyes the impending emotion that was about to be unleashed upon him. He briefly considered diving off the side again.

Divya punched him in the chest a few times. "Why would you do that? Why would you leave your _cellphone_ in a golf cart?"

"Because I'm an idiot."

"How could you not realize you didn't have it and call to let us know you were safe?"

"Because I'm an _idiot_?"

"How could you let someone _steal_ your golf cart?"

Evan shrugged and nodded. "Again: _Idiot_."

"Evan, do you think this is _funny_?"

"No, but _Tucker_ sure did, let me tell you..."

Divya slapped his arm _hard_. "I thought I'd _lost_ you."

Evan grimaced at the slap. "Divya, I am not a punching bag. I am _lanky_, and I bruise like a _peach_." He rubbed his arm. "Besides, you're going to _lose_ me in a few weeks anyway..."

Divya wiped her eyes one more time before fixing on him one of her stares, seemingly reserved only for Evan. "That is _not_ the same, and you know it."

"Essentially it is. Even if you spend your future summers here, and _if_ HankMed is still here, do you think we're just going to be beach buddies the entire time? Do you really think Raj would be okay with that? Do you think your parents would? They're tolerating your career choice right now because they know it's only for a few more weeks. To them, it's a simple distraction like _summer camp_. 'Oh, she's just sowing her wild oats by _sewing up that patient_.' It's _insulting_. And it makes me sick that you don't see that."

"Of course, I see it! I see it and think about it every single-" She stopped. "No. You know what? We're not doing this right now." She leaned forward again. "We're doing _this_." Her fingers slid through the curly hair on the back of his head as their lips met once more.

This time Evan was the one to actually push Divya away. "You've got to stop turning my head into Swiss cheese. All the...kissing, which I'm very partial to by the way, but then comes the punching ...and the yelling ...and then the kissing again and then the kicking-"

"I don't recall ever kicking you."

"Yeah, but it's...it's bound to happen sooner or later."

"And you called _me_ a wuss." She gave him a small smile.

"Divya, you tell me there's no time to explore this. But here I am becoming more and more fond of the notion as your wedding date creeps steadily closer. I already don't want you to go. Anymore of this..._sucking face_, Hank is going to be _so_ mad at you if you leave me as some lovesick, sniveling, dribbling, mass of...worthlessness. Because he's going to have to be the one to put up with me. And, word around the campfire is: I'm difficult to put up with as it is. I know: I didn't believe it either."

Divya grinned up at him. "Fine. I'm just glad you're alright. And you're probably right about...this. Friends?" She stood on her tip toes and kissed him on the forehead gently, then on the tip of his nose on the way back down, and finally she brushed her lips against his top lip before pulling away. She then patted his chest gently with one hand and walked past him.

Evan was speechless, still staring ahead. "Not one word. Not _one _word did she listen to. That was not _friendly_. That was _cute_ and _intimate_. It was downright..._girlfriendy_."

When he reached the top of the hill, he clapped Hank on the back. Hank responded in kind, squeezing Evan's shoulder once. "Ev, don't ever do that to me again. You hear me?"

"Henry, I didn't mean to do it _this_ time."

"Don't ever do it again," he reiterated.

Tucker approached Evan. "I better get this produce back to Libby. I thought this was going to be a monotonous outing. Thanks for adding some much needed zing to it. This was...interesting."

Evan shook his hand. "I _am_ very entertaining."

Tucker whispered, "So what's the lowdown on...?" He subtly nodded toward Divya.

Evan shrugged his shoulders dramatically and replied in exasperation, "You tell me. Because I can pretty much guarantee you that nobody's more confused at this point than I am." He looked past Tucker to find Divya looking at him, finding her expression complete illegible.


	12. Chapter 12

The following Thursday evening following the golf cart fiasco, Jill Casey laid back in a lawn chair and admired the sunset from her back porch. A freshly poured glass of wine rested on the table, and a satisfied smile rested on her lips. The yard sale had done wonders for her peace of mind, and the absence of everything that was Charlie had a lot to do with that. A seagull called out as it flew over, and Jill raised her glass in a polite toast, before sipping the thick Cabernet. "To freedom."

The cell phone's ring violently cut into the serenity of the moment, and Jill almost spilled wine down her shirt. She groaned, sat up and flipped the phone open. "This is Jill Casey."

"Jill? It's Divya."

Relieved it wasn't business related, Jill relaxed. "Oh, hi Divya. How are you?"

There was a pause before Divya's English accented voice answered, "_That_ is a surprisingly loaded question."

Jill's eyebrows perked up. "Oh-kay…Do you…want to talk about it?"

"Absolutely not. But...are you busy? Would it be terribly inconvenient if I stopped by?"

"Sure. I mean, no that would be great. Come over whenever you like."

"Actually…I'm already outside your front door. I didn't want to be rude, although I believe I still-

Jill blinked then smiled, "Divya, it's no prob- Oh this is silly." She hung up, then got up, and walked straight through her house and opened the front door to find Divya still on the phone. Divya's shoulders relaxed, and she smiled. She clapped her phone shut. She winced a bit. "I'm sorry about this."

Jill waved a hand flippantly at her apology, then waved her inside. "Divya, please. It's fine. Come on in."

Divya, crossing the threshold, stopped in the entryway. She peered inside the adjoining living room. "So, are you enjoying your newly "renovated" home?"

Jill rolled her eyes and smiled. "You have no idea. It's so much less…crowded."

"In more ways than one, I would presume."

"Exactly. Can I get you something to drink? A glass of wine? I think I have a few beers in the fridge."

Divya shook her head then stopped and gave Jill a funny look. "Have…have you eaten? I hate to be presumptuous, but I could desperately use-"

"A girl's night out?" Jill smiled impishly.

Divya's eyes widened. "Yes!"

Jill nodded. "Sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Pun fully intended." She grinned and walked into her living room. "Just let me change clothes. Make yourself comfortable."

Divya walked slowly toward the open door to the back porch, taking a moment to admire the very same sunset.

Jill called out from her bedroom, "Got anything in mind? Or is _food_ really kind of secondary?"

Divya furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Jill called out again, "I don't know. I just get the feeling the primary objective is alcohol. Correct me if I'm wrong."

Divya opened her mouth but stopped. She then shrugged and smiled a bit guiltily. "Your keen powers of observation haven't failed you. You are, in fact, right on the money."

Jill walked back, dressed in a pretty sundress and heels and whispered conspiratorially, "I had a feeling." She spoke up, "Shall we?"

Divya smiled vibrantly. "Yes. I believe we shall."

_Meanwhile…_

Dieter opened the front door of Shadowpond's mansion and afforded Evan his robot stare. "Good evening, Mister Lawson."

"Hey, Deets, is Boris around?" Evan stepped up on his toes, looking over Dieter's shoulders like a kid in a parade crowd.

Dieter muttered to himself with a clearly vexed expression, "Deets…" He blinked and collected himself. "Mr. Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz is…_around_, yes. May I tell him to what this in reference?"

Evan nodded. "Payback."

Dieter's eyes narrowed.

And Evan's eyes widened. "No no no. No. Not…not literally. Well, actually yes: literally. I mean payback as in _compensation_. Not _revenge_. I'm not stupid." He was met with Dieter's wordless stare. "I'm not _that_ stupid. Besides, Boris has been super-cool to me and Hank." Dieter blinked a few times, but continued to stare. Evan notified him, "I'm done."

Dieter gestured to Evan to come inside then guided him down the hall to an elaborately decorated sitting room. "Please wait here, and I will inform Mr. Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz that you wish to see him." Dieter disappeared through a doorway.

"'Preciate it."

Evan waited only a few moments before Dieter silently reappeared. "He will see you now, Mister Lawson." Evan's back was to him, and he jumped at his voice. "Dieter, you are like a _ninja_."

Dieter led Evan down a series of hallways down to another, homier living room. A giant fireplace dominated the far wall and double French doors made up an adjoining wall. In the corner of both said walls, Boris sat in a comfortable looking chair, dressed in casual clothing. Well, casual for him: an open-collar shirt with khaki dress pants and what Evan surmised to be Italian shoes probably worth more than the recently deceased golf cart.

Soft classical music played from a speaker set into the ceiling.

Boris looked up and set aside an old non-descript book with Russian lettering. He stood. "Mister Lawson, what can I do for you?" He eyed Dieter and nodded. "Vielen Dank. Das wird alle sein." Dieter nodded once and turned on his heel, leaving Evan and Boris alone.

Evan stepped down into the comfy room. He smiled and gestured to the fireplace. "Bet _that _doesn't get a lot of play this time of year. Hey, what're you reading?"

Boris absently looked back to his book. "Fathers and Sons. Ivan Turgenev." He turned back to regard Evan with his unreadable expression. Well, there was some thinly disguised _annoyance_ in it.

Evan brightened and smiled knowingly, "Always been one of my favorites."

"Really? You don't strike me as an existential nihilist, Mister Lawson."

Evan just stared, wide-eyed. "I could pretend I knew what that meant, but I think I'd just be wasting your time in the vain attempt."

"I appreciate the consideration. I'd hate for you to waste my time." He let that hang in the air, providing Evan with an expectant look.

"I hear you." He stepped forward, reached into his back pocket and retrieved a folded up piece of paper, which he handed directly to Boris. "Listen, I appreciate how cool you were about the whole…" He used his hand to mimic the golf cart going off a cliff, letting out a whistle as it fell, then made a explosion sound as it hit the bottom. "…thing. But you already do enough for HankMed…like _way_ enough to have to put up with us…_me_ destroying your property as well."

Boris unfolded the check and examined it for a few seconds, before re-folding it. "I appreciate the gesture, Mr. Lawson, but it's unnecessary. I understand that accidents happen."

Evan grinned easily, "Yeah, but they tend to happen a lot more around me. They flock to me like dirt flocks to Pigpen." He paused. "From the Peanuts? You know...Charlie Brown?"

Boris squinted. "I'm…aware of Charles Schultz' enduring creation." He reached back and picked up his glass of presumably bourbon on the rocks and took a sip. "Again, I appreciate the compensation. If that is all, I-"

Evan squinted his eyes and cocked his head slightly, "I bet you've been out with a lot of women. Haven't you?" He nodded.

Boris's eyes narrowed in return, and his mouth opened, but for once had no words.

"I mean a _whole lot_ probably. You're probably richer than Scrooge McDuck, you've got the suave thing down pat, and that killer stare probably just freezes them in place." Evan met Boris' gaze. "No, not that one. That one's more like a 'I'm going to kill you. Or I'm going to let my shark kill you' look." Evan smiled nervously, and looked down at his feet. "I'm standing over a trap door, aren't I?"

Boris blinked. "I have been in the company of what I would deem a standard quantity of ladies throughout my life. And, no." He flung his gaze to the left briefly. "The trap door is under the rug at the bar."

Evan's eyes shot to the bar and liquor cabinet above it. There was indeed a small rug in front of it. His eyes went big. "Are you serious?"

Boris replied in a deadpan manner, "No."

Evan laughed. "Of course. Of course not. That's silly." He trailed off, "But it would have been cool…" He looked to the bar. "Do you mind if I…?"

Boris followed his eyes. "Of-Of course. Be my guest."

Evan, already halfway to the liquor cabinet, exhaled deeply. "Thanks. I have had the _craziest_ week. _Month_ really. Have you ever had a girl tell you she just wants to be 'friends.'" He employed air quotes. "And then totally come out of left field with all kinds of signals to the contrary?" Evan poured himself a stiff drink.

Boris's expression was one of confusion. One of annoyance. One of shock. One of weariness. And one of curiosity. Mainly he was supremely curious as to how the hell this just happened.

_Meanwhile, Meanwhile…_

Jill was amazed Divya managed to not spill the wine all over the table. Divya poured herself yet another glass. Jill had lost count and was just starting on her third and about finished with her shrimp scampi. Divya's plate remained nearly untouched.

Divya took a healthy (unhealthy?) chug from her glass, before pointing at Jill. Her words weren't slurring yet, but they were getting pretty close. "You are lucky. You don't have all this pressure. You don't have…you don't have to marry a man that you hardly know. Well I know him, but I don't _know_ him. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I think so…but Divya, remember I've already been down that road. Granted, Charlie and I didn't have an arranged marriage, but regardless…you see how that ended."

"Yes, Jill, but you got to marry for _love_. I…I'll never know what that's like. To...to feel the butterflies buzzing around in your tummy…"

"Butterflies really don't buzz, but go on…"

"And and and…and the prickly feeling on the back of your neck. And the way he holds you? The way his hands…do their things that they do. And then he makes some…stupid joke, ruining the moment, but it really doesn't ruin it because that's just what makes him…_him_. You know? You know?"

Jill wore a guarded smile. "You had me up until the end there. And then you lost me."

"I want the butterflies, Jill. And…and the platypuses-es-es." Her brow scrunched up. "Platypi?"

"Okay, now you've _really_ lost me."

"The duck-billed beaver fluffy creatures…"

"No, I know what a duck-billed platypus is. I just have no idea why it has a place in a discussion about Raj."

Divya's shoulders slouched in defeat, and she practically whined, "It doesn't…that's the point…"

_Meanwhile, Meanwhile, Meanwhile…_

It was all so surreal to Boris. He sat back in his chair, watching the lips of the younger Lawson brother continue to _just keep moving._ All the while, the soft music of Frederic Chopin soothed Boris' incoming headache.

"…or do I bust up the wedding "The Graduate"-style? I don't think that movie had as happy of an ending as a lot of people think. And it seems awfully dramatic…and dangerous too: There'd…there'd be a lot of unhappy people there. At _me_, mind you."

Boris massaged his temple with two fingers, and his eyes wandered to the grandfather clock in the far corner. It had been twenty-seven minutes. Twenty. Seven. Minutes.

"…I don't know Raj very well. But he seems like a pretty stand-up guy. And he's got a lot to offer her. A lot more than…well…_anybody _really. Well besides _you_." Evan squinted and asked, "Do _you_ think she's hot? I think she's hot. Crazy. But hot."

Boris switched to his other temple, sipping his drink. Enough was enough. "Mister Lawson-"

"Evan. Really, it's Evan. Especially after we've had this bonding time and engrossing conversation-"

"Conversation implies dialogue. When in fact, Mister- When in fact, _Evan_, this has been entirely a monologue. I can assure you I am a man who appreciates all facets of the arts, but one-man plays are not at the top of my list. "

Evan shrunk a bit in his chair. "I am _so_ sorry. You're not going to fee-"

Boris closed his eyes and interrupted, "I'm not going to feed you to the shark. I'm _never_ going to feed you to the shark. I am a businessman, not some pulp magazine villain." He leaned forward and pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes tight. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, then opened his eyes and continued, "I'll tell you what I am going to do and that is give you some advice, since you so desperately need it. While I wasn't able to absorb every single word you've rattled off in the past twenty-seven minutes and forty-seven seconds, I have managed to grasp the _gist_ of your dilemma."

Evan sat up and leaned forward himself. "Oh that would...that would be awesome."

Boris fixed Evan with a sober stare. "We are not in control of our ultimate destinies; however, we do maintain _some_ control. And if you fail to exert that control, you only have yourself to blame. Take it from me: life is unfair and it's unforgiving. "

Evan's brow creased.

"Yes, I can practically read the word running across your brain right now as we speak: Hypocrite. But there comes a time in a man's life when he realizes money, power, fame...they are indeed not everything. Some men would argue they are _nothing_. My ideology falls somewhere in between, but everyday it slips ever so slightly toward the latter."

Evan nodded. "Wow, Boris. I've totally been dominating this conversation. If there's something you want to talk about, hit me up, man."

Boris shook his head. "I do not. This _dialogue_ is in reference to your situation, not mine. And I have no interest in needlessly scrutinizing circumstances I cannot change. And, I honestly mean no offense when I say this, if I did wish to delve into my own personal issues, it certainly would not be with you."

Evan shrugged, "Okay, if you're sure. No offense, huh? Ouch."

"Positive. But my point is...you have limited control of your own fate in your grasp. Evan, my advice to you is to _take_ it. Regret is a powerful and more often than not invincible foe." Boris frowned and his eyes rested on a small, locked box on a shelf across the room. He quoted, "'For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: _it might have been_.'"

_Meanwhile, Meanwhile, Meanwhile, Meanwhile..._

"I mean...I mean he's so _stupid._ But he's so _witty_. _Stupidly witty_. And-And he's so resi-resi-resi...what is..what is that word?"

Jill did her best to help: "Res-il-i-ent?"

At some point during the evening, Divya had the brilliant idea of adding tequila shots to their girl's night out. Jill, being the good friend she is, had joined in.

Divya snapped her fingers and pointed at Jill. "Exactly, he...he. Ish like the Energizer bunny...takes a licking and keeps on...ticking..."

Jill descended into some drunk giggling. "I'm-I'm pretty sure that's not right."

"Actually that's our motto." Two 20-something guys were standing at their table holding beers. "Evening, ladies. You look a little lonely over here. Would you like some company?"

Jill looked at Divya, eyes wide and a funny little smile on her face. "That was a horrible pick-up line. And I'm pretty sure that didn't even make any sense."

Divya cracked up with Jill.

One of the two guys tried, "Aw, come on, girls. We'll show you a good time."

Divya looked up and squinted so that they'd come into focus. She eventually had to close one eye to accomplish that. "Oh, I'm sure you would, boys. But then my guy would have to show you..." She raised her left hand to show off her engagement ring then closed it into a fist. "...how it's done in...done in Jersey."

One of the guys raised both hands, "Alright. Hey. Didn't see the ring." They gave each other a look then left the girls' table.

Jill leaned forward and asked incredulously, "Raj is from New Jersey? How...How is that even possible?"

Divya was already taking another shot. She grimaced as the tequila hit home, then shook her head. "Nooooooo. Not that one. The _other_ one."

Jill smirked. "Oh so...so we're back on Evan again. Figures...what _is_ it about those Lawson boys?"

"Oh you and Hank should soooooooo get married." Her eyes widened. "We could-we could have a _double wedding_!"

"Well that settles that: You are definitely more sauced than I am. When is the wedding anyway? Three weeks, isn't it?"

Drunkenness is a funny thing. You can go from carefree giddiness to melancholy at the flip of a switch. And Jill just flipped the switch.

Divya's drunken smile melted away. Her bright eyes dimmed and stared at the recently emptied shot glass. "Three weeks..."

Jill recognized it immediately and wanted to reach out and snatch her words right back up. "Oh, God. Divya-"

It was too late. While not impossible, once booze depression set in, it was difficult to go back. Jill reached across the table and took Divya's hand in hers. Divya's face contorted and the tears welled up.

Jill nodded. "Okay. Time to go." She dropped cash on the table and helped her friend up. "Let's go."

Jill signaled the bartender to call a cab.

Moments later as they piled into the taxi, Jill put an arm around Divya. "Divya, I don't even know where you live. Can you tell the driver where home is?"

Divya barely got the words out.

Jill's eyebrows scrunched up. "Sweetie...that's Hank and Evan's address."

Divya remained silent, sobbing as Jill held her. Jill whispered her own address to the cab driver.


	13. Chapter 13

She wandered down the unfamiliar hallway unsteadily and clumsily, like a zombie from a George Romero film. She stopped about half-way, leaning on the wall for support with her eyes shut tight. She croaked out a weak, "Merciful heavens, just kill me now…"

"Hey, you _are_ alive. Another hour and I'd be contemplating on who to call: Hank or the coroner."

Divya opened one eye and saw Jill at the end of the hall. "The jury is still out, I can assure you. What time is it?"

Jill checked her watch. "11:40. But that hardly matters: I think it's safe to assume this will be a sick day for the both of us." Jill intercepted Divya and helped her off the wall and down the hallway. "C'mon. I made some breakfast. There's no better remedy for a hangover than drenching it in bacon grease and maple syrup." She smiled at her KO'ed friend's facial expression. "Please don't throw up on me. Again."

As they made it to the kitchen area, Divya gave Jill a weary, horrified expression as she managed to climb up on to a barstool. "I threw up on- Oh, Jill. There are no words. I am so embarrassed…"

Jill cut her off, "I'm kidding, Divya. You didn't."

Divya closed her eyes. "Thank the stars." She opened her eyes and swallowed. "Public vomiting isn't exactly ladylike and proper behavior, now is it?"

"Oh, you threw up. Just not on me." Jill did her very best to not laugh but failed.

Eyes shut again, Divya muttered to herself, scowling, "Of course I did. Could this get any worse?"

"Oh don't _ever_ say that." Jill wandered over to the stove and began fixing Divya a plate.

DIvya eyed her with a mock frown, "How is it that you fared so much better than me?"

Jill smiled wide, sliding bacon on to the plate. "Because you drank me _and yourself_ under the table. That was a remarkable display of boozing. Color me impressed. As the number of your birthdays increases, your alcohol tolerance decreases."

"Why didn't you let _me_ in on that particular pearl of wisdom before I…_submerged _myself in red wine and tequila and…oh God, were there jell-o shooters?" She licked her teeth with a disagreeable look on her face.

Jill scooped up a pancake. "Because…I think you needed to cut loose." She looked back to Divya. "So? Did it help? Was it cathartic?"

DIvya rubbed her eyes. "I wake up with a swirling, liquor-induced headache, an absurdly queasy stomach and muscles that ache at the slightest movement…and all the problems I had beforehand are still with me. So, in a word: no." She looked up and managed a little smile. "But I appreciate it, all the same. Thank you, Jill."

Jill returned the smile and nodded. "Anytime. Well…not _anytime_. Give me a week or two to recharge my batteries."

Divya sighed. "Speaking of which, I wonder if my phone has any charge. Do you happen to know where it is? Or did I drink that too?"

Jill laughed out loud and pointed to the other end of the counter. "No, it's safe and sound."

Divya groaned as she retrieved it in slow motion. Returning to the bar stool, she leaned forward and propped herself up on her elbows. Her eyes miraculously focused on the screen. She squinted and leaned forward. "That's…odd."

"What?"

"What time did we leave the bar last night?"

"Mmm…2-ish? Maybe?"

"Huh." Divya looked up. "_Evan_ called me at 12:38 AM." She furrowed her brow.

Jill walked over and set the plate of food in front of Divya. She leaned over and narrowed her eyes on the screen. "No, he didn't." It hit Jill immediately, and her eyes widened. "Sweetie, that's an _outgoing_ call."

Divya's mind wasn't exactly working in high performance mode in the midst of this stellar hangover. It did not immediately hit her, until she met Jill's strange look with her own look of confusion. As if through telepathy, Jill's realization transferred to Divya. Confusion washed away, and with clarity came panic.

"Out-Outgoing? But I never- When did I-? When _could_ I have-? Oh no no no no no. What did I do? What did I do? Jill, what did I do? What did you _let_ me do?"

Jill winced and tried to remember. "I would never have let you make any phone calls in your condition." She paused. "Although, you were in the bathroom for quite a while…"

"Jill!"

Jill looked sheepish and defensive. "Well, Divya, you'd had a _lot_ to drink, so it stands to reason it would take longer to…make room for more."

Divya buried her face in her hands.

"Maybe you didn't get him! Maybe he was asleep! Maybe you got his…voice…mail…" Jill's wince reappeared.

Divya's head shot up and she looked at Jill with an expression that practically screamed: Oh no.

"See, _this_ is why you never ask if it could get any worse."

_Thirty Minutes Later and Clear Across Town..._

Evan was actually beginning to sweat. It had been a mistake to even try this. This was too much, and he had to end it now.

Evan leaned forward and spat the Thai chicken and rice out of his mouth on to his plate and gasped for air.

Hank rolled his eyes and looked around the restaurant to see if anyone had noticed. "Oh, that's real nice, Evan. Do you need me to change you when we get home too?"

Evan fumbled for his water and downed nearly half of it before wheezing out a response. "This is a _five_? In what world is this a five out of ten in spiciness? Hank, I swear I think I'm having a heart attack." He grabbed his chest.

"You're not having a heart attack. Worst case, you're experiencing an arrhythmia induced by the chemicals in the peppers you just scarfed down like they were _candy_. And Evan? It's a five out of _five_. Five is the highest."

Evan was panting. "That's crazy. Everybody knows everything goes to ten: Players on a baseball field-"

"Nine," Hank corrected.

"-the number of planets-"

"Also nine. Eight without Pluto."

"-legs on a spider, giant or otherwise-"

Hank shook his head, "That would be eight. Giant or otherwise."

"a deck of cards-"

Hank opened his mouth then closed it, having to actually think about that one for half a second.

"My point is: five is always the middle."

"Except for when it's not. Like...now."

Evan flagged down the waiter. He began to pour Evan a new glass, when Evan confiscated the pitcher. "Tell you what: why don't you just leave that here with me?" The waiter blinked but relinquished it. "It'll just save _you_ time and _me_ my taste buds."

Hank offered the waiter a helpless shrug and an apologetic expression.

Evan chugged some more water and began refilling his glass. "So last night, Boris and I totally bonded."

Hank's eyebrows perked up. "Really? You and Boris. The Boris that lives in the mansion next to us. The Boris that threatened you when you found out about his shark. The Boris whose cart you basically gave away to get ultimately demolished. Is that...the Boris we're talking about?"

"Water under the bridge. Check it out: he calls me _Evan_ now."

Hank pointed out flatly, "That's your _name_."

Evan spared Hank a comically blank expression. "Why are you never supportive of me making new friends? Are you so jealous of your time with me? I mean, it's understandable, but it's also childish and petty, Henry."

Hank smirked. "Yeah, that's it. You got me."

"So I'm thinking about asking Boris to help me procure- " Evan mouthed the words "smuggle in" then continued, "...are you ready? Are you ready?"

Hank nodded. "Spit it out. The answer. Not your food again."

"A duck billed platypus. They're so awesome, and they'd make super-sweet pets. What do you think?"

"I think they're poisonous."

Evan's eyebrows crumpled. "What?"

"Usually non-lethal to an adult, but dangerous nonetheless and easily lethal to a child."

"But...how? They have quacker bills..." He illustrated with his hand.

"Quacker...bills? Really, Evan? It's their _claws_."

"But they're so tiny and cute and...tiny."

"And sharp and poisonous."

Evan stared past Hank at nothing. His shoulders fell, and he slumped in his chair. "The dream is dead. Henry the Second will never sleep at the foot of my bed or play catch and chase frisbees."

"Remind me to schedule you for a CAT-scan." He waved the waiter down for the check.

Evan whispered loudly to the waiter, "Doggy bag!"

Hank frowned. "What for? So you can spit it out at home too?"

"Never waste food. There are starving children in Africa."

"There are starving kids on _every_ continent. How are you, sticking that in the fridge and then throwing it out in three days, supposed to help anybody?"

"You might eat it. Divya might eat it." Evan lowered his voice and said sadly, "Henry the Second would've eaten it..."

"Speaking of...Divya, not your imaginary endangered species, I've been sort of waiting for you to bring it up. You want to talk about it?"

"Nah. Boris and I hashed that out last night."

"You...you went to Boris...for advice on dating?"

"Not _dating_. It was more of an in-depth discussion on the ever so elusive, mysterious and often crazy gender known as: _woman_."

"And what did you _glean_ from this in-depth study?"

"For one: never piss off Dieter. You'd never see him coming until it was too late. Secondly, I need to..._spit _or get off the pot."

Hank smirked, "I don't think that's the phrase..."

"I know, but we're in public, and I was trying to side-step vulgarity. I thought it was a clever substitution."

"Okay, that's all well and good, but what does that mean for you?"

"It means...I need to man up and do what I need to do."

"Could you be anymore vague? No, really."

Evan opened then shut his mouth. Looking uncomfortable, he squirmed a bit in his seat.

Hank knew his brother better than anyone. He'd been through the good, the bad and the ugly with him. He'd seen all the range of emotions and how Evan expressed every single one of them. But right now, for the first time in a long time, Hank was at a complete loss trying to read his brother. This must be something...new. A faint smile formed on Hank's face as he stared at Evan.

Evan looked even more uncomfortable, because of it. "What? Stop that. I mean it, Henry."

"You love her, don't you?"

Hank was still staring at him with that eerie expression blended with equal parts amusement, surprise and sentiment, and it was beginning to creep Evan out. Evan retaliated with an incredulous -what are you talking about?- look of his own. He shook his head. "That's- That's-" The incredulous look faded. "Yeah."

Hank's smile grew into a big grin.

Evan quickly added, "I mean...I think so. I'm pretty sure. But this is...whole new territory for me. Uncharted waters. I'm _off_ the map."

The waiter dropped the check on the table and left Evan a box for his food. Hank paid in cash, and Evan scooped the toxically spicy food into the styrofoam container.

Hank got up. "Come on, Romeo. We can talk more in the car."

Evan stood up and frowned at the name. "I swear, Hank, if you start quoting anything like: "Oh, Juliet, let down your hair," I am going to wail on you. And I'm not holding back this time. 100 % Evan R. Lawson, CFO poundage."

Hank chuckled, opening the door. "Did you actually read _anything_ while you were in college? Romeo didn't climb up Juliet's hair. That's Rapunzel."

"Romeo climbed Rapunzel's hair to get to Juliet? So weird." He rummaged through his pockets and produced his _new _cell phone. "Let's see if HankMed missed any calls while I almost died in there." He shook it and frowned. "I don't like this thing as much as my old one." He hit the power button. "I didn't even know it wasn't on."

* * *

Sorry to end this chapter on a "cliffhanger." It won't take me long to get the next one up. I hope you enjoyed it. :)


	14. Chapter 14

Evan clapped his hand atop the passenger side car door of Hank's convertible Saab and leapt over, landing butt-first in the seat.

Hank slid into the driver's seat, slamming the door. "You know, that door _does_ work. It opens and closes, that being it's primary function and all. We're not in Hazzard County, and this isn't the General Lee, Luke Duke."

"Tell me about it. Hank, when exactly _do_ you plan on donating this relic to a museum or a...junkyard?"

Hank pulled out on to the road and headed toward home. "Really? You're busting on _my_ ride?"

Evan shook his head, punching his voice mail pin number into his cell phone. "Don't go there. I'm still reeling from the pain and separation anxiety, having lost perfection on wheels."

"I'll assume you mean the Tesla and not the golf cart."

Affording Hank a snide smile, Evan brought the cell phone up to his ear.

"_You have one new voice mail message. 1st message received today, 12:41 AM:"_

Divya's slurred voice sprang out of Evan's phone:"_Oh...oh... oh how typical. When I don't _want _to talk to you, you...you're _always _there: in my face, buzzily buzz-buzzing about. You even come to my parents' house and prac-practically kidnap me. But when I act- actu- when I _want _to talk to you, you're...unavailable. Evan, you are soooooo irritating! Where are you? It-It's only like...9 o'clock in the...in the nighttime."_

Evan was confused and he must have looked it, because when Hank momentarily took his eyes off the road and glanced at his brother, Hank did a double-take. "What is it?"

Evan held up an index finger to Hank as he listened to the rest of the message:

"_Fine! Fine, be that way. I honest...I honestly couldn't give two...two hoots where you are right now. Are you on a d_ate_? You're on a date, aren't you? I can't believe you're on a date! Af-after I have everything just fine and...dandy with my life...and and Raj and my life and my wedding and my parents and...You just _swoop_ in like a...like a...vulture that swoops in and and..._poops_ all over everything."_

Evan, at this point beyond confused, mumbled, "Poops?"

Hank, eyes still on the road, repeated, "Poops?"

Evan gave Hank a curt, "Shhh!"

"_And then you let me kiss you. And for the first time in my life, I get a clear look at my life...I mean _another_ life...I mean a life without...oh...what's his name? I just _said _it. Oh bloody hell, you know who...I mean a life with some...someone else. A life that's unscripted. And and then you make me think you're dead and how much I would be lonely and miss you...because you died. But you didn't die. And then you let me kiss you again. I'm very cross with you right now, Evan. You-you've really managed to muddle things up for me, and I don't appr- I don't like it one little bit."_

Evan's confusion had slowly morphed into pleased amusement.

"_I don't care how cute and and and charming and funny you are_. _It simply doesn't _matter_ that...that when we kiss, you make me all snuggly warm inside and the butterflies buzz in my tummy...Flutter, not buzz...Jill's right_. _The point is: I'm marrying Evan, and that's final." _Pause. "_I mean I'm marrying..." _Longer Pause. "_Raj! Why is that name so hard to remember? I'm marrying Raj. Not Evan. Because _you're_ Evan. And we're not engaged...to be married." _Even longer pause. "_I think we'd best stop talking for now. I'll see you at um...at work on Monday..."_

CLICK. "_There are no more messages in your voice mail. Press 3 to erase. Press 9 to save."_

Evan promptly mashed the number 9 key with his thumb. "Oh, you better believe it."

Hank eyed the phone. "Ok now: what was that all about?"

Evan, still staring at the phone with a bemused half-smile, replied, "Well for one: prime, Grade-A blackmail material, should Divya ever plan to run for public office."

"That was Divya?" He eyed Evan. "She used the word: poop?"

Grinning like the Cheshire Cat, Evan replied, "She did indeed. She also used the words: charming, cute, funny and sexy. All of which describing your charming, cute, funny and sexy brother."

Hank gave Evan a dubious look. "Seriously?"

"Well, all except the sexy part, but it was clearly inferred."

Hank muttered sarcastically, "Clearly." He spoke up, "Are you going to elaborate?

"I think Divya _drunk-dialed_ me." He smiled at Hank, looking all kinds of delighted. "Do you know what this means?"

"Yeah: Divya got drunk."

Evan frowned with disappointment. "No, Henry. Well, yes, Henry. But it also means that when she got drunk, who did she think to call?" He hooked both thumbs and pointed them at himself. "_This _guy. That's who."

"Well at least that explains all the complimentary adjectives."

"_In vino veritas. _In wine there is truth. Liquor doesn't lie. And how exactly is this you being supportive?"

Hank smiled a bit. "You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. Okay, so you definitely need to talk to her, but you need to approach this _delicately_. Not like how you ambushed her with that obscenely inappropriate video presentation fiasco. And..." He glanced toward Evan and saw his brother dialing a number on his phone. "What're you-? Are you seriously calling her right _now_?"

Evan shrugged. "Well, yeah..."

Hank abruptly snatched the phone out of Evan's hands and gave him an exasperated look. "Evan, what the hell are you thinking? Firstly, this isn't the kind of light chit-chat you have over the phone. Secondly, it's a conversation that needs to happen in private. And thirdly: don't do it _today_. If she was intoxicated enough to make that phone call last night, how do you think she's feeling today?"

"I _never_ know how she's feeling. The woman is a bona fide enigma on legs. Tremendously fantastic legs, I might add..."

"_Hungover_, genius. And although I didn't hear the message, she's likely to be embarrassed as well."

Evan motioned to his phone, still in Hank's hand. "You wanna hear it? Dial *86. Give it a listen."

"No. No! I don't want to give it a listen. This is none of my business, Evan."

"Of course it is. You're my romance coach. My Cyrano de Bergerac. Except you don't get to end up with the girl at the end. And while your nose is appropriately Jewish-gigantic, it's not as big as that dude's."

"_I'm_ your romance coach? Need I remind you of my recent track record? First, I blow things with Nikki. Then I blow things with Jill. I sincerely suggest you fire me and hire someone else with a much better resume."

"Um, first of all, you did not _blow_ anything with Nikki. That girl has no idea what she threw away when she kicked you to the curb. And secondly, you didn't blow things with Jill." He paused and looked past Hank. "Well, yeah you did. But you two are more go, stop and go again than a traffic light. The light'll turn green again anytime now."

"Yeah, I don't know about that." Hank pulled into their guest house's driveway and cut the engine. He took off his sunglasses and looked at Evan. "Remember. Do. Not. Call. Her. Today. Let her call you, or you can just talk to her on Monday."

Evan hopped over the car door again, exiting the Saab. "Relax. Message received and acknowledged. I'll just use the downtime to polish my armor."

Hank squinted. "Is that a metaphor for something else? If so, please don't tell me what."

Evan clapped his chest with both hands dramatically. "If there was any doubt before that our damsel, Divya, needed a strapping, valiant white knight to come to her rescue, any said remaining doubt has been eradicated by this." He wiggled his cell phone back and forth.

Hank shut the car door, smirked, then muttered, "White knight? Divya needs someone else with a better resume too."

Evan yelled from up ahead, "I heard that!"

Hank fired back, "Good!" He walked into the kitchen and pointed at his brother. "Remember, Sir Evan of Jersey, let it be until Monday. Not tomorrow. Not Sunday. Monday."

Evan raised his hands innocently. "Henry, take two chill pills and call me in the morning. Monday. I got it!"

_The very next morning..._

"Mother, this is silly. You have all the floral arrangements covered already. Why are we even here?"

Rubina Katdare was examining a bouquet of tulips and replied without looking up, "Divya, dear, calm down. There's no reason we can't pick up a few accent bouquets to compliment what the florist has in mind."

Divya closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "But that's her _job_. She's the florist." She stopped. It was futile. She so did not want to be here, standing amidst all the colors of the rainbow in flower-form. Her mother had suggested a mother-daughter trip to the florist shop over breakfast. Divya was all too aware that she had not been exactly radiating pre-wedding enthusiasm. And she knew she had to pick her battles when it came to this sort of thing. She was willing to surrender one Saturday morning for the good of the many. For the good of her family anyway.

The little bell over the door chimed, signaling a new potential customer's entrance. The lady behind the counter smiled at the gentleman. "Hello, sir. Welcome. Can I help you?"

"Well, I don't know exactly what I'm _looking _for. But I do know the house has been a bit stuffy as of late, and I know all these little suckers pump out oxygen asking for only carbon dioxide in return. It's a really good deal we've got going with these plants, don't you think? Do you have anything that says the owner's manly and _virile_ yet sensitive to the feelings and concerns of women?"

The store clerk paused at the unusual response and questions. "I...well...let me look around. I'm sure I can find something to your liking." He smiled and nodded in return.

She had to be hearing things. There was no way in the world the man who just walked in behind her was-

"Evan! Good morning." Clearly surprised, Rubina smiled politely.

Divya whirled around, eyes as wide as saucers and mouth agape.

Evan plucked the sunglasses from his face and smiled wide. "Well, if it isn't the two lovely Katdare womenfolk. What a _cosmic _coincidence." He walked over to the smiling Mrs. Katdare and the clearly still shocked Miss Katdare. "I was just out for a stroll, saw the store sign, and thought HankMed's headquarters could use some more plant love."

Rubina blinked, "But this is a floral shop. I...don't think they sell anything but flowers..."

Evan replied with a shrug, "Well, what're you gonna do? Divya, you're looking nice and...astonished. How are you?"

Divya was still trying to recover but eventually managed to make her mouth work, "I'm...good morning...Evan. I'm fine. I-"

"Faaaantastic." He looked past Divya and smiled at Rubina. "Mrs. Katdare, do you mind if I borrow your daughter for just a minute?" He gently grasped Divya's upper arm.

Rubina blinked, "No, I don't mind. Is this another business...financial emergency meeting?"

"Sure. Why not?" He turned to regard Divya. "Shall we?"

It was like watching the whole scene from outside her body. Evan was leading her outside the shop and to a bench a little ways down the sidewalk. Divya was desperately trying to think of what horrible things she must have done to justify this sort of karmic revenge.

Evan ushered her to the bench, and they both sat down. "Okay. Sorry about that. But we've got to talk."

Divya finally regained all of her senses and cocked her head, regarding Evan with confused expression. "Evan, how...how did you know where to find me?"

"_Find_ you? I wasn't trying to find you. I was trying to infuse the old homestead with some greenery." He met her dubious stare. "Yeah, I went by your house, and your Dad told me."

"Evan! You went to my house? _Again?_"

"Yeah, I totally think your Dad's starting to warm up to me. He didn't openly scowl when he came to the door."

"Oh Evan, please tell me you didn't present him with more Indian food..."

Evan closed his eyes and grimaced. "Dammit, I knew I forgot something."

"You have to _stop_ bringing Indian cuisine to my parents' house! You have to stop going to my parents' house _period_!"

"Why? Don't you think it's...I don't know: cute?

"Cute? Of course not. Why would I think it was-"

"How about charming?"

"The word is _annoying_, Evan."

"You don't think it's just a little bit funny? You totally think I'm funny. Admit it."

"I think it's funny that you think so."

"Well see that's just _weird_ because somebody just recently told me that I was all of the above: cute, charming and funny...I'm trying to remember who it was...it's right on the tip of my tongue...oh right..." He slowly pointed at her with both index fingers. "It was..._you_."

Divya scrunched her eyebrows, looking confused but also worried. "Evan...have you suffered a head injury in the past 24 hours? What in the blazes are you-?"

Evan took his cell phone out and lifted it to his face to cover his grin. He stared at Divya with wide eyes, that practically said on their own, "Oh yeah. That's right."

Divya's eyes ping-ponged back and forth between his strange gaze and the cell phone under his nose. Her own eyes widened as understanding dawned upon her. And then she slowly closed her eyes, letting out a small sound that was somewhere between a groan and a whimper.

Evan lowered the phone and put his hand on her bare shoulder. "Come on, Divs. It's okay. You know: it was...sweet and it's not like you said anything _dirty_ or..."

Divya cut him off, "Evan, I'd been drinking-"

"Yeah, I caught that."

"I shouldn't have drank anywhere near that much. And I shouldn't have...It didn't mean anything. _I _didn't mean anything."

"Divya, you totally _drunk-dialed_ me. Have you ever drunk-dialed Raj?"

"I've never... "drunk dialed" _anyone_, Evan!"

"Oh my God." He puts his hand over his heart. "I feel so special..."

"Evan, this is not funny! Look, whatever it is I said-"

"Wait. Wait wait wait. Wait. You don't _remember_ what you said?" A mischievous grin worked its way on to his face.

Divya frowned and fixed a flat stare on him. "Evan. Give me the phone."

"No way. Do you have any idea how long it took me to re-enter in all my contacts? I'm not doing it again with a third phone after you toss this one into traffic."

"I'm not going to destroy your phone. I want to hear the message. Now, Evan." She stiffly extended her hand.

Evan squinted and looked at her suspiciously. He reluctantly dropped it in her open palm. He tossed a glance toward the busy downtown street. "Don't you do it. I'll go in after it. You know I will. I am _that_ materialistic."

Divya smirked. "What's your pin number?"

Evan looked around conspiratorially and whispered, "0124."

Divya punched in the numbers and said under her breath, "Probably the hotel room number where you first "scored.""

"Actually, it's my mom's birthday."

Divya looked up immediately from the phone. Evan's expression was unreadable. No humor. No sadness. No anger. Just...Evan.

Divya looked away and brought the phone up to her ear and whispered, "That's sweet."

Evan watched Divya's face as she listened to all of her own message. She winced a few times. She closed her eyes a few times. And she rolled her eyes a few times. But at the end something really must have upset her as she brought her hand up to cover her face. "Oh, this is a categorical _nightmare_..."

"Gotta be all kinds of weird hearing your own voice rattling off stuff you don't even remember saying."

Divya sighed, handing the phone back to him. "Very."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Listen, are you free tomorrow night?" Evan slipped his phone back into his pocket.

Divya eyed him. "Um. I think so...wait. What? Why?" She met his sober gaze. "No. You're not-" He waited for her. "Are you- Evan! Are you asking me on a..." She looked around and leaned in, whispering, "_...date_?"

"Yep."

She just stared at him, completely dumbfounded. "Evan...you're...I'm...Evan, my _mother_ is just around the corner!"

"I know. And she looks sensational by the way. Beautiful skin. That really bodes well for you."

"Evan! I'm _married!_" She held up her hand to display the engagement ring.

"No, you're not. That's an _engagement_ ring. Divya, do we need to go over how this whole process works?"

Divya shook her head, closing her eyes. She reopened them and renewed her incredulous staring at the crazy man seated beside her.

"Divya, you're into me. I'm into _you_. Let's do this. Come on."

"What? Do what? How-? Evan, I'm engaged to be married."

"Yes, now you've got it."

"Evan! I can't go on a date with you. It's widely accepted across a broad spectrum of cultures that once you are engaged, you _cannot date_."

"Okay, fine. Let's just call it something else. It can be a business meeting where we discuss out-of-office topics for the emotional well-being of HankMed's star employee. With food."

"And what exactly would that accomplish?"

"Well, for one it would take care of dinner for that night. I mean you have to eat. _And_ I'd be buying. Completely traditional. None of this _going dutch_ baloney. Secondly, as much as I truly savor our witty back and forth banter, I think it'd be a great experiment to see if we could get through an entire meal without verbally sparring. Doubtful, I know. And thirdly, well...I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I want to spend some time with you. You know...just you and me. Together. Alone. Alone together. Together alone?"

Divya sighed. "Evan...I just don't think it's a good idea. Absolutely nothing good could come of it. _Nothing_."

"What're you talking about? You've clearly got me running laps in your head. Why not nip this thing right in the bud. This "dinner meeting" could be the perfect opportunity to determine that there's nothing here. You can be rid of me forever."

Divya smiled softly, "Evan...I don't want to be _rid_ of you. When I said we were friends, I meant it. But while what you say does sound tempting, what if- What if it...causes the opposite effect?"

"Well, however unlikely that may be, don't you want to know one way or the other?"

"No, Evan. I don't. Peace of mind would be so very welcome, but even more uncertainty compounded upon the already sizable amount I'm already feeling would be devastating for me."

"So devastating that you'd break off the engagement?"

Divya didn't answer.

Evan gave Divya a wise look and said, "No words written or said are...wait...no words that have been are worse that what...wait...might have been? Wow! I _totally_ butchered that. I should've written it down..."

Divya gave him a confused look, "What...?"

Evan shook his head a few times. "Nothing. Just something Boris told me." He met her gaze. "No regrets, Divya. You don't want to live out your life with regrets. You can change the present, and you can change the future, but the past is untouchable."

Divya remained quiet still sharing his gaze, the wheels obviously turning in her head.

"Come on, Divya. Please. Just one dinner."

Divya sighed. "I don't-I just-"

Evan smiled. "If it helps, I never go all the way on the first date. Mainly because none of the girls I've dated did either, but still. My record is untarnished."

Divya couldn't help but smile. "Make no mistake: it will _remain _so."

Evan smirked, blinked then lost the smirk. "Wait. Was that a yes?"

Divya exhaled deeply and said with a funny little smile, "You really are terrible for my blood pressure, Evan R. Lawson, CFO of HankMed."

Evan waggled his brows and smiled smugly, flipping his collar up dramatically. "I'm sorry, Divya. I can hardly be held responsible for my smoldering good looks and the effect they have on the ladies."

Divya swatted his arm. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. I was already _stressed_. You aren't helping."

Evan shrugged. "Well, maybe. But I'm trying to."

Divya smiled. "I know."

"Pick you up at seven?"

Divya's eyes went wide. "Pick me up? At my _parents' house_? I think not. You can let me know when and where and I'll meet you."

Evan frowned. "I was going to pick you up in a horse drawn carriage."

Divya eyed him skeptically, frowning. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Totally."


	15. Chapter 15

Sorry about the long break, but here's my longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

The black one. Or maybe the red one. Was the red one too sexy? Was the black one not sexy enough? Were they both too formal? Divya, holding up two dresses in front of a full-length mirror, shut her eyes and muttered a curse under her breath. Evan hadn't been very forthcoming with the details of their date, but he had told her it was going to be casual. She wouldn't be having this dilemma had Evan left it at that, but noooo...he had to tack on "-ish". What did casual-_ish_ mean? So frustrating.

She finally settled on black. It was a good neutral choice. She studied herself in the mirror, turning this way and that. She frowned. She was showing off an awful lot of leg...And while black was neutral, was it also boring? She groaned. Why was she doing this to herself? This "date" was merely a way to finally expunge Evan's lingering presence from her thoughts. She frowned again. Every time she let that thought roll around in her head, it made less and less sense. It had made sense when Evan sold her on the idea. Hadn't it? Regardless, it was too late to back out now, and she couldn't abide the thought of Evan accusing her of _wussing_ out. And tonight would probably be a certifiable disaster anyway.

_And there's also the fact that you actually want to go out with him_. Divya grimaced at the traitorous thought and chased it away. But she knew the butterflies in her stomach weren't just nerves, and she couldn't chase _them _away as much as she desperately wanted to. She put on some gold hoop earrings and checked her face up close in the mirror one last time. She stepped into her matching black high-heel shoes and put her hand on the doorknob. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "I can do this." _You _want _to do this. _"Oh shut up," she barked quietly to herself and more specifically the returning traitorous thought. With passable resolve, Divya opened her bedroom door and headed off into dangerous territory: an evening with Evan R. Lawson.

_At the very same moment, over at HankMed H.Q..._

Evan was decked out in a navy blue sports coat with a polo short-sleeved shirt underneath. Khaki dress pants and brown leather shoes completed the ensemble.

He trotted down the stairs and made a beeline toward the french double doors, only stopping briefly to pluck his hat from the back corner of a chair.

"Don't take the hat." Hank was absently looking over some of his notes, hunched over the kitchen island, a half-eaten slice of New York style pizza resting on a plate to the side.

Evan stopped and turned around slowly, giving his brother an audacious look. "What? Why not? Chicks dig the hat."

"Negative, Ghostrider." Hank, still not looking at him, took another bite of his pizza slice.

Evan held up both hands questioningly, "I beg to differ."

"You can beg all you like. Still doesn't make the hat anymore..._diggable_."

"I think it's diggity, but don't quote me on that." Evan took the hat off, gave it an appraising inspection and returned it to the makeshift hatrack. "Fine."

"So where you taking her?" Hank, with his easygoing, amused smile, finally set the pen down and looked up at Evan.

"We have 7 o'clock reservations at one Casareccio." Evan smiled, looking quite pleased with himself. "Want me to bring you back some linguini, fettucini, basically anything that ends in -ini...?"

"Martini?"

"I don't think they'll give me a to-go cup. Besides, do you really want to drink a martini out of a styrofoam cup with a crazy-straw?"

Hank grinned. "I think Casareccio might be just a _tad_ too elegant for crazy-straws. But you can always pitch the idea to Allison if you see her. And if you do, say hi for me."

"Henry, for one: Everybody should use crazy-straws. It's a no brainer: equal parts functionality and entertainment. And two: I don't foresee us having a conversation with the owner slash head-chef. Our table's not back in the kitchen."

Hank just smiled and nodded conceding both points. "You nervous?"

Evan smirked, "Uh, _no_."

"Yeah, I don't believe you."

"As well you shouldn't."

"Just...don't treat this like a first date. I'm not saying don't be a gentleman, pull out her chair for her and open the door for her. Definitely do those things. Just think of this as the _second_ date. It's still nerve-wracking but significantly less so than the first. Technically, you've already been on your first date after we treated Allison and Valentina."

Evan's brow scrunched. "That wasn't a _date_. That was your strategic surprise booby trap...and a feebly disguised one at that...designed to get Divya and me to chum it up and be all buddy-buddy."

"No, it was a cease-fire designed to get you two to stop snapping at each other like bickering lobsters."

Evan replied in a tone jam-packed with sarcasm, "First of all, great job on that: worked like a charm. Second of all: mmmm lobster. I bet they have a lobster pasta dish. And if they don't, you know Allison would totally work one up for one of her favorite customers."

"I'm sure she would, but I don't see how that will help _you_, since I'm not going."

Evan, in one rapid motion, re-plucked his hat from the chair and slung it at his brother, who deftly caught it in one hand with an equally rapid motion.

Evan frowned with disappointment. "First cookies, now headwear too? Hank, you're starting to show an unprecedented display of athleticism that quite frankly I'm uncomfortable with."

Hank tossed the hat back to his brother. "_I_ have always been good at sports, thank you very much."

Evan made a funny face and mouthed a sarcastic:"OH-KAY." He then turned and opened the door. "I'll just leave you and your delusions of grandeur alone to discuss your sports dreams and how you could have been a contender. Besides, I've got to go. I don't want to supply Divya any fuel to start an argument: namely being late. Wish me luck."

"Don't wreck my car. Oh, and don't leave the keys in the ignition."

Evan closed the french double doors and glared at Hank though the glass from outside.

Hank chuckled and polished off the rest of his pizza. Hank waited until he heard Evan start up the Saab before pulling out a phone book from a drawer. He flipped pages, muttering to himself, "Casareccio...Casareccio..." With a sly grin on his face, he reached for the phone and began dialing.

Divya waited in her SUV in the parking lot Evan had designated for their "meet up." She absently tapped her fingers on the steering wheel to a silent beat as she noticed the dark green Saab pull up and stop right in front of her. Evan was wearing his sunglasses and a smile. She returned a flimsy smile of her own, exhaling deeply before exiting her vehicle. As she locked it and headed for the Saab, Evan quickly hopped out of his seat.

"Whoah, slow down there, Missy." Divya paused, bearing a confused expression as Evan hurried his way around the car to open the passenger's side door. He then gestured to the empty seat with an open palm. "This isn't a self-service date. You get all the customary gentlemanly staples. Divya Katdare, thou shalt be pampered."

Divya pursed her lips, but they quickly gave way to a little smile. "I don't need _pampering._" She quickly tacked on a soft, "But thank you all the same." Evan caught a whiff of Lavender, his new favorite smell, as Divya brushed by him, lowering herself into the seat. Evan closed her door and made his way back around to the driver's seat. He smiled at her. "Ready?"

Divya actually chuckled. "Not even remotely."

"Good. Me neither. Let's do this thing." He pulled out of the parking lot, took a right on to the moderately busy street, and immediately stopped about half a block up right outside Casareccio. All told, the entire drive took about 15 seconds.

Divya's expression started out confused then morphed to incredulous. "Are you serious? We're eating _here_?"

Evan took off his sunglasses and set them aside, then gave Divya a concerned look. "Why? You don't like Casareccio?"

"No. I mean, yes. I do. I just...Evan, why didn't you just tell me to meet you here?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." He paused. "Sur-_prise_."

Still clearly amazed by her date's peculiar behavior, although by now she knew she really shouldn't have been surprised by _anything _that Evan did, Divya watched Evan hand the keys to the valet. "But...why...why didn't we just walk from where I parked? It's literally half a city block, in fact..." She turned her head around. "Yes, I can see my car from here."

Evan shrugged and gave her his easy smile. "I _told_ you: you get all the trimmings and trappings that come with a certified, genuine Evan R. Lawson date." And with that settled, Evan got out and closed the car door. Divya was dumbfounded by his complete lack of common sense, but at the same time she couldn't help but be touched by the silly man's explanation.

Once more, Evan opened the door for her, but this time he held his open palm out to her. Dangerously close to blushing, Divya afforded him a guarded smile as she met his sincere gaze. She gently placed her hand in his. He said in a low voice as he helped her out, "By the way, you look absolutely _amazing_."

And that did it: Divya's cheeks burned, and she lowered her head, hoping somehow the uninvited blush would disappear as quickly as it had shown up. "Thank you, Evan. You...look very handsome...as well." She winced briefly at her awkward return compliment.

Evan smiled. "Thanks, Divs. You know, I almost wore my hat-"

Divya smirked. "I'm _so_ glad you didn't."

"I know, right? Hank was like: "Evan, you really ought to wear the hat." And I was all like: 'Um, Henry, I don't think it's appropriate evening wear." Clearly we know who got the fashion sense between the two of us."

Fairly confident the blush had faded away, Divya smiled up at him playfully. "On that we can both agree: I think it's _crystal_ clear."

Evan returned the smile, but then scrunched his brows. "Wait, do you mean- Never mind, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. Shall we?"

Divya smiled in amusement. "We shall." They walked side by side to the front door, which Evan promptly held open for his date.

"Good evening. Reservation for two. Lawson."

The hostess smiled, gathering two dinner menus. "Of course, if you'll just follow me." She led them through the entire restaurant and opened the door to the outside seating area. All the while as they walked, Divya scanned left and right, fearing she'd see a familiar face. She could explain this away as a business meeting, but it would be a hard sell, and she didn't relish the thought of having to even try. The hostess stopped at a corner table over-looking the water, laying the menus down. "Per your request, sir."

Evan smiled. "Thank you." He quickly pulled out Divya's chair for her.

Divya smiled and perked an eyebrow. "This truly _is_ full service."

"You bet your sweet bippy."

"What on earth is a _bippy_?"

"No idea." Evan sat down across from her.

Divya gazed out over the water and to the slowly setting sun. Divya was feeling more relaxed, having seemingly avoided being seen by anyone she knew. "Well I have to say, Evan: very well done. The weather is wonderful, and the view is just beautiful."

Evan nodded and wore a small but honest smile, not once taking his eyes off her. "Oh I wholeheartedly agree."

Something in his soft tone made her look back at him. Damn it. The obstinate blush came rushing back. "Evan..."

"What? It's true. You look beautiful. And that's a killer dress." He paused and looked at her squinting and smiling devilishly. "You looking to get lucky tonight? I'd like to tell you I'm not that kind of guy, but the kind of guy who _isn't_ that kind of guy doesn't exist." Evan looked away for a moment, doing the math on that in his head, making sure he said that so it made sense.

Divya replied flatly, "No, Evan, I am not looking to _get lucky_. You may as well banish that idea from your muddled thoughts right here and now."

"Divya, _relax_, I'm just playing with you. You and I both know we can't make it through an entire evening without at least a teeny-tiny shred of squabbling. It's totally what we do. And we're so _good _at it." Evan smiled wide.

Divya couldn't stop herself from smiling. "That..." She picked up her glass of water and raised it toward Evan in a toast. "...we are." Evan graciously tapped his glass against hers.

He sipped his water. "Okay, so would you prefer a red or white? I'm thinking Pinot Noir. Mainly because Noir's fun to say. No really: try it. _No-ir_."

Divya finished swallowing the water and shook her head. "Oh no. Absolutely no alcohol tonight."

As if right on cue, their waitress appeared and set down a bottle of 2002 Cabernet Sauvignon along with a set of matching wine glasses. "Good evening and welcome to Casareccio. My name's Victoria, and I'll be taking care of you this evening." She produced a corkscrew and promptly began work on the wine bottle.

Divya shot a confused glance toward Evan only to find him wearing the same expression. Evan smiled briefly then gave the waitress an earnest look. "Um, Victoria -is it?-, isn't it standard practice to let the _customer_ pick out his or her own wine? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong..."

Victoria stopped about halfway into the cork and closed her eyes briefly, smiling. "I am so sorry. This was called in and already taken care of. I really should have led with that. You _are _Evan and Divya, right?"

Both of them were still confused but nodded in tandem. Evan replied, "That _is _us. We are they. But...I'm sorry, did you say it was _called in_? And by taken care of, I assume you mean: paid for?"

Victoria resumed her work on the cork. She nodded. "Mmhmm." She popped the cork, and set the bottle down. "Hank says: _enjoy._" Victoria smiled. "I'll give you a few minutes to look over the menus." And with that, she was gone.

"Divya, before you say anything: I swear to Tesla Motors and their sweet, sweet Roadsters that I had nothing to do with this. This is _all_ Hank."

Divya frowned a touch as Evan picked up the bottle.

Evan poured the red wine into both glasses. "And since he went to the trouble and expense, we really can't in good conscience let this fine social lubricant go to waste."

"No, I suppose we can't." She dubiously lifted her glass of wine and sighed. "That would truly be a tragedy." She took a sip, as Evan did the same.

Evan swished the wine around in his mouth before swallowing. "Oh, this is good. It's like an explosion of smoky, grape-a-licious flavor all up in my mouth. My super taste buds are tingling."

Divya nodded. "It _is_ good." She turned the bottle around to examine the label. "It appears Hank didn't _cheap_ out on us, that's for certain. Remind me to thank him after I berate him for meddling."

"You know, I get on him about that all the time, but he just won't stop."

Divya's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "_You_? _You _get on _Hank_? About meddling? Evan, you're the most meddling...meddlesome...meddler I've ever met!"

"Wow...that was inspired wordsmithing." Evan pretended to be offended and continued, "And name one instance of me meddling."

"_This _one, Evan. _This _instance. What we're doing here tonight." She was still staring at him incredulously.

Evan waved a hand dismissively. "Pfft, this isn't meddling. It's...it's...okay it's meddling. But can you honestly tell me you're not having a good time? With me. Here. Right now."

Whether the wine had anything to do with it or not: she was. She stared into his blue eyes for longer than she should have. She sighed and one corner of her lips curled upwards as she uttered weakly, "Maybe..."

"Aha! I knew it. Now let's order up some grub. All this verbal sparring's makin' me hungry." With that he flipped open the elegant menu.

She watched him as his eyes danced over the words. Her little smile remained.

His eyes finally flicked upwards and met hers, and she blinked. "Did you want me to order _for_ you or...?"

Divya hadn't realized how long she'd been just sitting there doing nothing but watching him. Embarrassed, she hurriedly opened her own menu and cleared her throat. "No."

Evan watched her for a few seconds then looked back down at the entrees. "Good. Because I think that's one archaic tradition that really needs to die." He couldn't force down the smirk as he added, "Ya know...like arranged marriages..."

Divya slapped the menu shut and glared at him across the table. "Honestly, Evan?"

Evan shut his own menu and immediately went into damage control mode. "I'm kidding, I'm _kidding_! I'm so sorry...I couldn't help it. It was just...dangling there in front of me, begging me to say it." He reached across the table and took her hand in his. "Divya, honestly, I promise that's the last time I'll mention it. Well..._tonight_."

Divya proceeded to glare at him but inexplicably found her lips mirroring his with a smirk. "Evan, you are like a child who can't keep his hand out of the cookie jar. You are so..._baffling_."

"What can I say? I don't wanna grow up: I'm a Toys-r-us kid."

Her eyes shot to her hand in his. His thumb was absently caressing the back of her hand. It felt nice. Too nice. Divya, not gently, pulled her hand back and re-opened her menu. "Let's order, shall we?"

"Sure..." Evan leaned back away from her and resumed to peruse all the Italian dishes.

After Victoria had returned and taken their order, Evan and Divya started in on some small talk.

Divya eyed him. "So...hobbies. Besides hitting on unavailable women, obviously..."

Evan awarded her with a snarky grin for that. "Obviously. Well, I do consider myself to be quite the movie and cartoon buff...having watched a lot of...movies and cartoons. I _used_ to love driving..." He sighed dramatically.

"Still? With that?"

"It's like a death in the family. You never entirely get over it."

And Divya awarded Evan with a thoroughly amused expression for that.

"And there was...tennis. But I was banned from our tennis court..."

"By Boris?"

"No, Hank."

She grinned. "I see. I enjoy tennis quite a lot. And...I'm rather good...if I do say so myself."

"You just _did_." Evan grinned.

Divya chuckled at that.

"But that doesn't surprise me. You're pretty much _awesome_ at everything else I've seen you do so far."

"Well, _thank_ you. That's kind of you to say, but I don't know if I agree. I think I'm rather sloppy when it comes to managing my life...with my parents...with Raj...with you."

Evan sat up in his chair. "Well, it sounds like to me that you need someone who knows how to manage the big picture by keeping all the internal components working together the way they should be. Like...I don't know...an _accountant_."

Divya sipped her wine, watching him over the rim of her glass. She swallowed and her lips curled into a little smile. "You? _Really_?

"Did you hear me say: me? I didn't say: me. But, truth be known, I've been told I'm quite the life coach."

Divya interjected, "By _who?" _

Evan immediately replied snobbishly, "I don't remember. But I seem to recall him being very wise..."

"Uh huh..." She shook her head, smiling broadly.

Victoria returned with their entrees and set them down before them. "Buon Appetito!"

They both dug in to their respective pasta dishes. After some more small talk, Evan reached over to fill Divya's nearly empty glass with more wine.

"Evan, I really don't need any-"

Evan cut her off with, "Sure you do. Divya, these grapes _died_ for us. And I imagine it was a throughly unpleasant way to go: bunch of people stomping and squishing you to death with their bare feet. Don't let their sacrifice be all for nothing. That's just cruel and unjust, and you're better than that."

Divya couldn't help but laugh. With a dramatic groan, she brought the refilled glass back to her lips.

Nearly an hour later, Evan and Divya walked down the steps toward the valet parking when Evan suddenly stopped. Divya looked at him. "Evan?"

"I want ice cream. You want ice cream? There's a shop right down the way."

The wine had her in a nice warm happy place -somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it wasn't just the wine- so she replied, "Alright."

"Oh come on. It's just like a _two_ minute walk down the- wait, did you say okay?"

"Actually, I said: alright."

"Huh. I was really expecting to have to fight you on this."

She laughed. "Are you _disappointed_?"

"A little bit, yeah."

She closed her eyes, still grinning and delivered a light punch to his arm.

Evan chuckled. "That's more like it."

It was closer to a ten minute walk, and on their way back, Evan was working his tongue on a single butter pecan cone, and Divya was enjoying a mint chocolate chip one.

"Is it me or was that like the best food ever? Casareccio, not the ice cream. Although, I'm kind of digging making out with this thing. It's pretty damn good."

Divya, still lapping up her own ice cream, sort of grunted in agreement. Her eyes wandered down the sidewalk ahead of them and saw a young couple holding hands walking toward them. They almost looked like...

Evan was babbling away, "You know, I'm really proud of myself. I usually can't help but sink my teeth into the ice cream like seconds after I start on it. And then comes the inevitable brainfreeze. But tonight I'm showing quite a bit of unusual restraint-"

Divya cut him off: By stiff-arming him violently into an alley they were passing. A couple of trash cans rang out as Evan hurled into them. A nearby stray cat screamed in protest.

"Tucker! Libby! Good evening! How are you...tonight?" Divya marched up to them and did her best to disguise her panic with an absurdly fake smile.

After the initial shock of Divya's startling outburst, Libby smiled in a relieved fashion and replied, "Divya. Um, hello. We're fine. Are...are _you _alright?" Tucker, with a vague smile, glanced behind Divya. "And was that...Evan...who went sailing into that alleyway?" Before Divya could answer, Tucker yelled out, "Evan, man, you okay?"

A weak, "I'm good," drifted out of the dark alley. Divya closed her eyes and winced.

Evan stumbled out on to the sidewalk, the cat hissed at him again for good measure.

Divya rushed over to him. "Oh, Evan...I'm so sorry. It was just a reflex. I saw someone I knew and...and...well...then..."

Tucker said on the verge of laughing out loud, "You _stuffed_ him." Divya looked back at Tucker with a pained expression.

Evan shook his head. "No, no. Really. I'm fine. The...jagged...metal trash cans broke my fall."

Divya winced. "Oh, Evan, please forgive me...are you sure you're alright? Are you bleeding...?"

Evan checked himself over. "Amazingly, no. But there was a casualty." He held up his empty broken cone with a truly sad and pathetic look on his face.

Divya covered her mouth to hide the smile that she couldn't stop. Tucker didn't. He openly laughed. Libby smiled and piped up, "Why would you shov-?" She looked between them. "Oh my God, are you two on a _date_?"

Evan: "Sort of." Divya: "Oh, no."

Evan and Divya looked at each other then back to Tucker and Libby.

Evan: "Not really." Divya: "Well, yes..."

It would be hard pressed for Tucker and Libby to have been anymore amused by Divya's and Evan's simultaneous yet contradictory responses.

Evan scrunched his eyebrows. "Define: _date_."

Tucker was grinning from ear to ear. "Well, whatever it is you two are on, we'll let you get back to it." He ushered Libby past them.

Divya called out to them, "Tucker-"

Not even turning around, Tucker replied, "We're not telling anybody, Divya. Relax."

As they watched them walk away, something caught Evan's attention. "Holy crap, you're still holding your ice cream cone? After all _that_?"

Divya blinked and looked at it. "I'm sorry, I genuinely forgot about it. I-"

"No, I'm _impressed_. The only thing I'm that careful not to spill is a good martini. Now, come on: let's get you off the street before you recognize somebody else and toss me into traffic."

Divya felt awful, but she snorted out a laugh. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry. Evan, you really are taking this incredibly well. I truly appreciate it."

They started walking again. "It's cool. Well, it's not _cool_, but I get it." They rounded the corner to the parking lot and stopped just short of Divya's car.

Evan stuffed his hands into his pockets. "So. Did you have fun?"

Divya eyed him. How was she supposed to answer that? Because the truth is she couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much fun. But nothing good could come of admitting that to Evan. She knew how persistent Evan was, and she didn't want to provide him with anymore ammunition.

Evan titled his head to the side. "Come on, Divya. It's a simple question."

Divya looked him in the eyes. "No, Evan..." Evan's expression reminded of her when she'd compared him to his father on the beach weeks ago: hurt. But she continued, "...it's not a simple question." Thankfully, that look on Evan's face vanished. She didn't like that look. She never wanted to see it again.

Evan nodded silently. He gestured to her nearly vanquished ice cream cone. "Ok. Did you at least like your cone?"

She looked down at it, still in her hand and smiled. She gave a it a few more good licks with her tongue. "Very much." She looked at him wordlessly for a few seconds. "Would you like a taste? I think I owe you that much."

"Not a huge fan of mint chocolate chip, but sure..." He took a deep breath then stepped up, completely by-passing the offered ice cream cone, held her face in both his hands, and pressed his lips to hers. And he got his taste.

Plop. Divya's ice cream cone finally met its demise on the asphalt: the hand that had held it now had other things to do.

Evan, for the life of him, couldn't remember why he didn't like mint chocolate chip. It tasted pretty damn delicious to him right then. At first, Divya's hands hung limply at her sides, but then they found their way to Evan's hips, holding on for dear life.

As Evan lovingly savored her lips, he broke the kiss briefly enough for Divya to whimper out, "Don't..." He launched back in, hoping he didn't hear what he thought he did. As he tilted his head and repositioned, he barely broke away long enough for Divya to whisper, "Stop..." Dammit. Evan was mostly lost in Divya, but coherent thought managed to fight its way through. Still holding her cheeks in his hands, he slowly pulled back, exhaling deeply. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry."

Divya promptly grabbed the back of his head, whispering in a husky voice, "I _said_: don't stop." Evan blinked and smiled. "Oh...I thought you-" And she pulled him back into her kiss, interrupting him.

Minutes melted away, as Evan and Divya made out like teenagers. Finally, Divya slowly started the long process of detaching herself from Evan's embrace. She smiled as she finally had to turn her head completely to the side to keep their lips from finding each other like magnets. She smiled even deeper and giggled when ever-persistent Evan began kissing her neck, since her lips were no longer available.

She whispered, "Evan...I have to go..."

"I wish you wouldn't..."

She swallowed. "I have to."

Finally, Evan stepped back and nodded. "Okay, but let me tell you right now: if you just stroll into work tomorrow morning, pretending like this didn't happen or it was a dream or something else lame: I'm gonna slap you. No, I won't, but I...I might slap Hank."

She was still feeling a little dazed from the wine and Evan...mostly Evan. A funny, little smile appeared on her face and she asked, "Why on earth would you slap Hank?"

"That's the first thing he's gonna ask _me_. And I'm not gonna have an answer, but I will throw you under the bus by pointing at you. Then _you_ will have to answer to Hank...for me...slapping him. At what point did I stop making sense?"

So silly. So adorable. She wanted to kiss him again, but who knew how long that would go on? They could end up here all night. That thought and the ones that followed it made her want to run away and stay at the same time. "Evan...I'm not going to _pretend_ this didn't happen. I just...don't know how to process this...especially with you standing there."

Evan slowly stepped to the side. "Is this better?"

Divya smiled, titling her head. "No. I need to think. By myself."

"Ok, Divya...but don't go home and get settled in with the parents, the tradition and the arranged blahbbity-blah-blah-blah. Don't forget how good this was. How good _you and I_ are."

Divya whispered loud enough for him to hear. "Evan, I promise you: no matter what I do or don't do...I will _never_ forget this." She looked away, as the emotion hit her. Suddenly, this felt like a goodbye. A real goodbye. She opened her car door and slid into the seat. She looked out at him from her open window. "Thank you for a lovely evening. I give the certified, genuine Evan R. Lawson full service date experience a clear-cut: A." And with that, she drove out of the parking lot and into the night.

Evan watched her go and raised both arms in question. "_A_? Where's the _plus_?"

_Later..._

Hank came down the stairs in a T-shirt and sweat pants to find his brother, spoon in hand, seated at the table and hovering over a pint of ice cream.

Hank sighed. "Ice cream? After a date? That's not a good sign. I'm sorry, bro."

Evan spun around and gave Hank a mysterious, wistful grin. "Don't count me out yet, Henry. This isn't exactly what it looks like."

Hank pitched his head to the side a bit. "Oh...kay, Mysterio. Do you you mind elaborating?"

"Mysterio uses illusions and other F/X. Riddler would've been a more sound choice. Hank, you really need to brush up on your super villains, and really, your comic book lore in general."

Ignoring him, Hank squinted. "Why are you eating Mint Chocolate Chip? You _hate_ Mint Chocolate Chip."

Evan smiled, taking another bite. "It's growing on me."


	16. Chapter 16

On Monday morning, Divya's black SUV turned out of the manor's enormous circular drive on to Rosegarden Way. Beside her in the passenger's seat, Hank was scribbling some notes on a pad as he commented under his breath, "Well. _That_ could've gone better."

Divya somehow managed to smile and wince at the same time, sparing him a glance. "They aren't all going to treat you like the super-hero you are, Hank. The rich and famous are like a bunch of apples: go through them and you'll eventually find a spoiled and rotten one amongst the rest."

Hank sighed and finished up his notes, underlining the last word with two hard strokes of his pen. Divya eyed the pad and the underlined word. She smiled. "_Jerk_? Is that your professional diagnosis, Doctor?"

Hank smirked. "Think we need a second opinion?"

Still smiling, Divya shook her head. "No. I think we're good. I'm just curious as to what treatment you'll prescribe."

Hank slammed his fist into his open palm. "Pow!"

Divya laughed. "While I can't in good conscience condone it, I would love to see you administer that particular treatment. What a thoroughly unpleasant man."

Hank chuckled as well. "Unpleasant. Man. I can think of a few four-letter words to better describe him."

"Now, now. Let's not be vulgar. You're better than that."

Hank grunted noncommittally then sighed again. "Let's talk about something else. Anything else."

Divya shrugged. "Sure. Have anything in mind?"

It was Hank's turn to shrug. "I don't know. How about...dinner? Last Friday night?" He paused briefly, unable to keep the smile from his face. "How'd you two...make out?"

Divya tightened her grip on the wheel, closed her eyes briefly and exhaled slowly. "He _told you_? I cannot believe he told you. I am going to administer that very same treatment to that blabbermouth brother of yours."

"Of _course_ he told me. He's my brother. He tells me everything. And believe me, Divya, sometimes I really wish he didn't."

Divya groaned. "I can imagine. What _exactly_ did he tell you?"

Hank grinned. "I swear I stopped him before he could go into too much detail. Not that he didn't try..."

Divya re-groaned. "_Seriously_. What is wrong with him? How can he be so...so..."

Hank, still smiling, nodded along with her. "I know. I know."

"Immature. Infuriating. _Irksome_."

"Yes, yes and yes. And several more I'm sure. But. " He paused. "You kinda like him, don't you?"

Divya swallowed and kept her eyes on the road. She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again. She was blushing, but she was pretty sure that was from the anger. Pretty sure.

"Well, I can tell you this: Friday night. Eleven o'clock. I walk downstairs to find my brother stuffing his blabbermouth with ice cream, a flavor of which he has proclaimed to hate for thirty-plus years I might add, and wearing the biggest, dumbest smile on his face. I've never seen him smile like that. I've seen _other_ people smile that way, so I know what it means, but never Evan."

Divya shrugged and offered in a weak voice, "Maybe it was the ice cream."

Hank stated flatly, "It wasn't the ice cream."

Divya squirmed a little in her seat. "Hank...I-"

"Divya, I'm not telling you this to make you uncomfortable. In fact, I wouldn't be telling you this at all if it weren't for the fact that it's my brother we're talking about. He's _smitten_, and that might be putting it mildly. I don't...I don't want to see him get hurt. I know what it feels like to put your heart out there only to have it stomped on. I don't think Evan does. If I can help it, I don't ever want him to find out."

Divya nodded slowly and wordlessly, staring straight forward.

Hank continued, "Now, understand: I don't want to see you get hurt either. I don't want to see _anybody_ get hurt. But...I can't believe I'm about to ask this: Divya, what exactly are your intentions with Evan?"

Divya sighed, turned the steering wheel, and pulled off on to the side of the road, coming to a stop. She closed her eyes and re-opened them to meet Hank's compassionate and concerned gaze. "I just...Hank, I don't know. I only even agreed to have dinner with Evan to prove once and for all that there was nothing...between us."

"That...doesn't make any sense."

Divya winced. "I _know_. I don't know why I ever thought it did."

"Let me guess: that was Evan's selling point on the date, right?"

Divya nodded with the same pained expression on her face.

"Thought so. Sounds..._Evanish_."

"Hank. Believe me, I don't want to hurt anyone either. You, Evan, my parents, Raj..." She couldn't help it. Pesky tears started to well up in her eyes as the weight of the wall she'd been building around herself for years all came crashing down around her. She exhaled slowly, willing them away. But then Hank added another brick to that wall.

"What about _you_?"

One tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. She almost whispered, "I have to do what's right for my family and my friends. There's...simply no room for what I want."

She didn't know if it was her saying the words out loud or Hank's earnest and caring demeanor, but there was no stopping the tears now.

Hank reached over and put one hand on her shoulder and just stared at her for several long seconds before taking in a deep breath. "Dammit. Evan was right. I wanted to stay out of it. I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought he was meddling, but I don't think that's the right word anymore."

Divya swallowed and wiped the tears from her face. "Hank. I don't even know why you put up with me. This is _so_ unprofessional. Promise me you won't put up with this sort of nonsense with your next-" She couldn't say it. It was only two syllables, but she couldn't get it out: P.A.

Hank frowned a bit. "Divya, do you really think that's all you are to us? A physician's assistant? While you happen to be a damn good one, that's not what we...not what I value most about you."

Divya blinked away tears, her eyes locked on Hank's.

"We're not just colleagues. We're _friends._ If and when you go, that's what I'm going to miss the most. I can replace a P.A. I can't replace a friend."

Dammit, Hank. Divya was incredibly touched by Hank's sincere words, so much so it brought on fresh tears.

"And that should've come first. I know that now. I am now officially on-board Project: Divya staying in the Hamptons. And yes, we know we need to work on the project title." He smiled gently.

A quiet laugh burst out of Divya in between the sobs. "I didn't even know there _was_ a project."

"I didn't either. Well, I didn't recognize it anyway. Not until about 60 seconds ago. But the only reason I'm joining the proj- the only reason I'm agreeing with Evan is because I think it's what you want too." He paused and smirked. "Well, it's not the only reason. I have to admit I have two selfish reasons as well. I want a good friend to stick around." Divya smiled and chuckled, tears a-flowin'. "And...I _really_ don't want to have to train another P.A. to deal with HankMed's C.F.O. That would take time, patience and possibly several pay raises..."

Divya cried/laughed and put one hand over Hank's, still on her shoulder. "Don't forget the prescription-strength headache medicine."

Hank grinned. "Oh yes. How could I forget?" After a brief wordless pause, Hank continued, "Now understand: while I'm your friend, I still can't and won't tell you what to do, but I can and am _obligated _to, as your friend, share my opinion on what I think you should do for what's _best_ for you." Hank raised an eyebrow. "Did that make any sense at all?"

Divya nodded and replied with a sniffle, "Yes."

"Ok. Good. Now, at anytime you don't want my opinion you have every right to tell me where to go stick it. Ok?"

Divya chuckled. "Got it."

"Ok. Here we go. Divya, I think you're _happy_ here. I think you love what you do, and you're undeniably great at what you do. And I don't think you love Raj. Well, you may love him, but I don't think you' re _in_ love with him. I may be way off base here. I don't know. I also think your parents are rushing you into this. I think this wedding date is bearing down on you like an oncoming freight train. And as your friend, if I see you're about to drive off a cliff, it's my responsibility to jerk the steering wheel."

Divya smiled wide. "You know, most of the time when I look at the two of you, I think: How in the world are these two related? But I just saw a little of your brother in you."

Hank smiled. "Thanks. Wait a minute. Was I just insulted?"

Divya laughed. "No. Not at all. It's just...Evan said the same thing to me a few weeks ago...about jerking the steering wheel. Is that a Lawson family saying?"

Hank frowned sourly. "No. It's a _Hank_ Lawson saying. I swear he takes credit for everything."

Divya kept on laughing.

Hank smiled wide. "Pilfered adages aside, I mean it though. I'm worried about you."

Divya smiled. "And I appreciate that. You have no idea how much. Oh dammit, would you _please_ stop crying, Divya?" Hank smiled, watching her wipe away yet even newer tears. She groaned and continued, "As I was saying: I can't lose my family. They're all I have, Hank."

"First of all, that's not true. You have a pair of dysfunctional brothers with Daddy issues who'll always be here for you no matter what." Divya laughed at that. "And second, you won't lose your family. I've only met your parents a couple of times, but I'd like to think they love you more than they love traditional Indian marriage practices."

Divya sighed and said in a small voice, "I'd like to think so as well."

"Again. I'm not telling you what to do. But I don't like seeing someone I care about feeling cornered." Hank couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to make light of your situation, but Divya: I don't know anyone who's more up against the ropes than you."

Divya smirked. "It's all right. Sometimes I have to laugh at the absurdity of it all. When I'm not crying over it, of course." She wiped her face in illustration...and to wipe away the tear tracks.

Hank smiled sympathetically. "So. I'm guessing Evan's inspired and...completely illogical plan to prove there was nothing between you two didn't exactly pan out?"

"It did not."

"Imagine that."

Divya smirked and swatted his arm. "Oh shut up."

Hank chuckled. "Shocking. I'm truly shocked."

"Okay, now I'm really seeing some of your brother in you. The _annoying_ gene."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll stop. Scout's honor."

Divya smiled at that. "Oh, that's right. You were a Major-General."

Hank's eyebrows scrunched together, and he cocked his head slightly in confusion. "Um, I was an _eagle scout_."

Divya smiled and wore a sagely expression. "Ah, but that's the layperson's term for it. Or so I've heard."

Hank's expression remained the same. "Ooooookay. I feel like I may have missed something."

Practically giggling, Divya replied, "You did. But that's okay. You weren't there."

Hank smirked. "I see. Well, not really, but anyhow...Look. Whatever you decide, we're here for you. Evan's probably here for you in a different way than I am, but still: I'm here."

Divya smiled genuinely. "I know. And thank you, Hank. That means more to me than you'll ever know."

"Just do me a favor. However this goes down, try not to crush my little brother in the process. Mopey Evan is not a fun Evan to be around. And then we have Unhappy Hank. And nobody likes Unhappy Hank. Especially Hank."

"I promise. As long as you stop referring to yourself in the third person."

"Yeah, that kind of got away from me there for a second. Sorry." Hank rubbed her shoulder before removing his hand. "Are you okay?"

"No. But I will be. Eventually. I hope." She smiled weakly. She stared forward out the windshield at nothing at all.

After nearly 30 seconds of silence, Hank piped up. "Divya?"

Divya blinked and came back to reality. "Hmm?"

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course. Anything."

"Can you drive me home now?"

* * *

Sorry about the stupidly and inexcusably long delay for this chapter. I'm still alive, and the next chapter will be up in a much, much, much more reasonable time frame. Also, there were a good many references to previous chapters (one all the way back to Chapter 2 and one back to Chapter 4). So if there were any head scratching moments, that's probably the reason. Again: sorry about being M.I.A. And thanks to everyone who reads, and especially thanks to those who leave reviews. I appreciate every single one.


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